Interview: On Real Life LOA, NLP, Alignment, Attracting Money, Conflicting Intentions

Woohooo! I was interviewed on Seeking Mind, a leading Law of Attraction blog last week. Here’s the interview, unedited and in full. Let me know if you have any questions about the questions (lol) or the answers.

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Meeting Tia (even online) is like bumping into a bundle of positive energy. I got to know her through Twitter, a couple of months back, and I am glad that our paths crossed. What I love most about her is her willingness and resolve to extend her own boundaries.

If she is your friend on Twitter or Facebook you’ll know what I mean. She is always on the go and coming up with one way or the other to inspire us. I interviewed Tia about the Law of Attraction and here is that interview for your reading pleasure. Enjoy and Learn!

INTERVIEW ON THE LAW OF ATTRACTION

Similarities between NLP and LOA Sunny: What is the relationship between NLP and LOA? Do they compliment each other and if so which specific NLP techniques we can apply to LOA to make it more effective?

Tia: I’ll break it down for you. NLP = Neuro (mind) Linguistic (language) Programming (behavior).

It’s described as an attitude, a methodology and a communication tool that helps us change limiting beliefs, create empowering ones and model successful behavior, using techniques like reframing, muscle testing, eye accessing, sensory perception etc.

“At another level, NLP is about self-discovery, exploring identity and mission. It also provides a framework for understanding and relating to the ’spiritual’ part of human experience that reaches beyond us as individuals to our family, community and global systems. NLP is not only about competence and excellence, it is about wisdom and vision” That’s the Wikipedia version.

Language is VERY important in NLP and this is where LOA could be its sister.  LOA says, what we focus on, we attract and it teaches us to use affirmations – act and speak as if what we wanted has already happened. NLP teaches us ways to communicate more effectively by changing the language we use, reframing how we say things and changing years of self limiting beliefs to replace them with self serving beliefs.

Can you see the similarities? Of course there are differences too but what you focus on expands so I’m sticking with what I want to believe ;)

The NLP technique that works best for me in my LOA practice is reframing – the art of changing a context or situation.

Example: If I wanted to change a belief that says “I’m no good at public speaking”, I would imagine myself in a situation where I feel confident and relaxed and people tell me how good I am at public speaking.. I would see myself walk onto a stage and feel comfortable, I’d pick the microphone up and feel it in my hands, like an extension of me.. I would imagine this room full of supportive, excited people eager to learn from me… etc. I would feel how I want to feel in that situation.

And I’d say to myself “Wow, I must be good at public speaking if so many people want to hear me”. As I got comfortable with that I would progress to “I’m a great public speaker, I have so much fun and am a natural at it”. Thus integrating my two favorite approaches.

Getting into the feeling place is very important – whether it’s by visualizing or affirming, or acting as if. Use whatever works best for YOU.

Attract more money into your lifeSunny: Why do most people fail to attract enough money in their lives? How can one effectively change one’s limiting beliefs about money which have been drilled into him for years by his environment?

Tia: Gosh Sunny, the golden question! I’d say a HUGE part of being able to attract money or anything else we want in our lives has to do with our beliefs. Think about the messages you got from your parents, their friends, teachers and society in general.

Stuff like “money is hard to come by without struggle,  only the rich get richer, if you want to be rich you have to study and work hard” or if you were lucky, messages like “money is just energy, the more you do what you love the more you’ll attract to you”.

Unfortunately, experience shows that it’s the former message style most of us grew up hearing. Because that’s what our early childhood influencers learned as well. It’s no one’s fault, but so important to be aware of what our money messages are before we can start to change them.

It all starts by starting. What I mean by that is, take the first step.

Pick up a book, start reading personal development blogs, hire a coach, become aware of your actions, words and thought, question your beliefs and ask “who told me this”?

The most important thing to know is that to change, one must WANT to change. So I’d ask, do you really want to change these beliefs? Often people think “of course I want to change, I want more money, what a stupid question that is, Tia” ;)

Not really. Here’s the deal – most of our beliefs are subconscious. So, on a conscious level if you think you’re ready to change your money beliefs and attract abundance and it’s not happening yet, could be there’s an unknown barrier to it. You’ve now got two opposing beliefs that cancel each other out!

Let me explain. A great way to find clues to resistance is by writing down everything you think would happen if you became rich (or whatever else your dream is).

Example:

  • I’d have enough money to do what I want
  • Life would be so easy
  • I’d quit my job and travel the world

All sounding great, right?

Well the flip side could well be thoughts like:

  • Friends and family would be jealous
  • I won’t know if people want to know me just because I have money or because I’m a great guy/girl
  • I might become lazy (clashes with your value of being productive etc)

Another common reason is something called the “set point”. I can’t remember where I first heard about this but it’s the reason why most people who win the lottery end up losing it all within years.

What happens is that we all have a set point – an amount of money that we are comfortable with. So for someone who thinks $10,000 is a lot of money, every time they get set to earn more, they end up sabotaging themselves subconsciously to ensure they don’t have more than they are comfortable with. Sounds crazy but it’s a fact.

Comfort zones are highly dangerous for this reason – they’re the anathema to growth.

It’s so important to change your mindset as well as your belief system to attract anything you want in life. Other techniques you can use are Psych-K (muscle testing to change beliefs), NLP, affirmations etc.

You get what you vibrate so align with itSunny: How do you align your words, thoughts and deeds so that you are congruent in your life? Which has the highest vibrational imprint among them, words, thoughts or deeds?

Tia: You ask some great questions my friend. Mike Dooley of TUT says, “Thoughts Become Things – Choose The Good Ones!” At least, I think it was him who said that.

Your energetic body-mind has the highest impact. Words, thoughts and actions all have an impact on the vibe you have but I’d say we’re habituated to doing what we do as a result of what we think.

I wish I could tell you a magic formula! Ok maybe there is a small magic formula that is SO simple we forget about it – do what feels good! At any given time, make feeling good your priority.

Follow your intuition and take Inspired Action.

This is the best and fastest way I’ve found to get into alignment with my desires.

Do.What.Feels.Good. That’s it.

(If you have questions like “but I can’t ignore reality and if the reality is that things aren’t going the way I want, how can I feel good?” then this post is for you to learn how to change your reality. And on the flip side, be careful not to use feeling good as cop-out)

Count your blessinsg for you have manySunny: What role has the Law of Attraction played in your own life and how do you apply it on daily basis?

Tia: I love the Law of Attraction! Truth be told, I don’t like to limit it to being called LOA because it sounds a bit woo-woo to people. I prefer to call it conscious creation techniques. What’s in a name though hey, it changed my life and that’s a fact.

How did it change my life? I stopped blaming people for making my life hard. I took control of my own life and happiness. I started focusing on what I wanted rather than what I didn’t want. I stopped taking anything personally.

I realized that just because I failed at something didn’t make me a failure. I developed confidence and self esteem. I practice living in the present moment (very challenging thing to do!).

By embracing life and counting my blessings, I started attracting MORE of them in my life.

I practice LOA daily by being aware of what I’m thinking and choosing to create as part of my reality. Every time I have a thought like “why hasn’t what I wanted happened yet?” or notice my vibration dipping or being upset, I use my 7 tips to manage your vibe or use Abraham-Hicks Vibrational Scale to move to a better feeling place.

How to resolve conflicting emotions and desiresSunny: How do we resolve the issue of conflicting intentions?

Tia: Conflicting intentions could be telling us that we don’t really want the thing we say we do want, or they could be an indicator of self limiting beliefs or they could be our fear about actually GETTING what we ask for – any number of reasons! Some ways to find out what’s going on are:

  1. Awareness – Get clear on what you want. Not what you say you want, but what you really, truly want. Until that happens, every intention you send out will be cancelled by a conflicting one. So might as well find out what it is right away.
  2. Take a piece of paper and write down everything that would change in your life were this intention to come to life.
  3. Make sure you’ve written the flip side down too (as talked about in the second question above). Often these will be fears or self limiting beliefs that sabotage your desires
  4. Feel the fear / resistance to anything that came up in the previous question, accept them and listen to the message they want you to hear
  5. Work through the fear/ resistance – decide if what you want is worth facing these fears and make a commitment to it.
  6. Remain aware of self sabotage attempts to derail the intentions
  7. Stop giving it any negative energy. Focus on what feels good!

There are two sides to each coin. It's a matter of perspectiveSunny: Do you think that events and circumstances as either good or bad?  When a seemingly tragic or negative event happens in your life, how do you handle it?

Tia: Everything that happens is a result of our vibrational creation. While I believe there isn’t a good or bad, just actions and consequences and the meaning we give them, there are some things I really struggle with (like child abuse, wars etc).

All I can say is that there is a force larger than us called Human Consciousness. What you or I do has an effect on the entire world by way of a ripple effect. We human beings are a part of everything that happens and we use labels like good or bad because we need a context to live within. Because we believe in duality and separateness rather than acknowledge that they are the sides of the same coin and intermingled with each other.

I’ve been through some rough times and what keeps me going is knowing that no matter what happens I will be able to handle it. I get that it’s hard to imagine we created something “bad”. “WHY would I do something like that” you may ask.

I believe that we came to Earth with a purpose (which we forgot about when we took birth.) If my purpose is to make a difference in this world and make sure no child feels abandoned, then to know what it feels like I must go through abandonment myself. That’s something I could look at and say is bad because it hurt me but if it helped me become more independent  and gave me inner strength to be a survivor – would the abandonment still be considered bad?

No, right? It’s a matter of perspective. What doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger.

I handle negative events by really feeling the associated anger or sadness (instead of pushing it away), going through all the emotions that come up with it, allowing myself to feel it all. Then, I start picking myself up again and reminding myself of what’s good in my life, everything has a reason and what can I learn from this situation.

Here is a process I use that I wrote about:

  • Make peace with what is, you don’t have to like it but do acknowledge it
  • Feel, feel, feel through your emotions, don’t hold back
  • Talk/write about the things you have with appreciation
  • Continue to be grateful for all that is in your vibrational escrow and ready to appear in your physical world
  • Stay focused on what you want, affirm it daily
  • Keep blame and guilt to a minimum, not serving you!
  • Drink lots of water to hydrate & flush out toxic energies
  • Reach for a better feeling place, one thought at a time
  • Practice extreme self love, forgiveness and gentleness towards yourself and others
  • Reach out for support – friends, books, meditation, blogs like this etc
  • Detach from the outcome and the process of wanting the manifestation to happen in a certain way – you have NO idea how wonderfully it is being orchestrated behind the scenes and by being attached to it happening your way, you’ll just block this universal magique (gosh how I love that word, can you tell!) (Sunny: Yes, I can :) )

For the rest of the article, check out when life throws me a curve ball.

Yoday - Do or Do not, There is No trySunny: What other ideas, thoughts or inspirations would you like to share with the readers of Seeking Mind.Com?

Tia: I’ll share some of my favorite quotes and ideas!

  • Do or do not, there is no try (from Yoda!)
  • Happiness is easier than you think it is.
  • Live passionately! A life without passion is a life half lived.
  • Don’t wait till you know everything to do anything. Do it now!

If you’re a procrastinator, you’ll find it very useful to listen to this call for tips on overcoming procrastination. As you hear people’s stories, you’ll be surprised to learn that it may not be a bad thing sometimes.

PS: It takes a few seconds for the call to load so be patient, thanks!

Sunny: Tia, I’d like to thank you for sharing your thoughts on the Law of Attraction with us. :)

CONNECT WITH TIA:

Website: http://www.yourlifeyourway.net
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/yourlifeyourway
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/tiasparkles

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Comments

  1. says

    Tia,
    What a great interview. The explanation of the flip side of abundance was eye opening to me. I believe there is a flip side to every aspect of life.

    I actually read it just before a coaching session and the insight that it provided was pivotal. I realize that too often I have the flip side feelings and then quickly replace them with what I want but in the end I have not made any progress. Today I really looked at one of them, and as you also said, allowed myself to experience those negative feelings. It made me not only aware of the limits they have been, but it also opened me up to see the truth and falseness of them.

    As example, I have been writing a novel for about two years. I am on the fifth or sixth revision, but feeling closer to finished. I just got some very constructive feedback from a bookworm friend, and I also got encouragement. (She wanted to read the next chapters I finished! Woo Who!) I named several reasons why I fear sending my manuscript to an editor or publisher. One is fear of rejection, and then the other is fear of it being accepted/published.

    If it is published I fear opening myself up to hundreds/thousands/dare I say millions of readers. Some will not like it. My coach asked me to name a book that I didn’t like. The point she made is that I don’t like every book written, every painting painted, every song sung. The truth I learned is there will be those who it does not resonate with. The flip side of that negative feeling of fear is there also will be people who it does resonate with.

    That fear has value. Examining it, in order to learn its value so I can make my choice, has even more value.

    Thank you for a great lesson. I also agree with Sunny, you are a bundle of positive energy.
    Berta

  2. says

    GREAT noticing on ” I have the flip side feelings and then quickly replace them with what I want but in the end I have not made any progress” Berta!

    Better to feel them well and good so they don’t have any reason to hang around and keep coming back with force. Cos when they do come back, you’ll know how to make sure they don’t stick around too long.

    It’s like my friend Kim Falconer says – not inviting the 13th witch to the party just makes her mad and she seeks deadly revenge (chanelling Sleeping Beauty here!) but by inviting her in and letting her behave badly if she wants, the collateral damage is much lower.

    Hey thanks for sharing the process you used to get in touch with your fears, that was very enlightening and I know it will help anyone who reads it.

    I’ll end by saying You can’t be something to everyone, so just be everything to someone :) Looking forward to hearing you finished your book!

  3. says

    Attracting money has been a hot topic for many. In simple terms – you receive what you project. If you have constant financial problems – chances are you have subconscious mind blockages that attract what you don’t want.

  4. says

    Right you are, Steven! The biggest block we face in our lives is mental. Change your thoughts, change your beliefs, change your “luck”. Thanks for dropping by!

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