It’s been rumbling for a while. This whole issue around social media and connecting with people.
Back when I first started using twitter in Sept 08, it was a case of the blind leading the blind.
People used auto follow tools, played with the system to get huge follower #’s and assumed that more followers = more popularity = sales.
Quite possibly one of the dumbest ideas ever.
In the past year we watched, learned, interacted, promoted, made mistakes, were professional, were unprofessional, followed all the rules and broke all the rules.
Come 2010 and many of us started questioning: with all this connectivity, could it be possible that we’re actually killing intimacy? How many of your 1000 – 5000 facebook friends or 500 – 50,000 twitter followers do you know?
Or even want to know?
It’s getting out of hand. Do you even know what you’re doing online anymore?
What’s your intention with social media, ie, do you have a strategy or are you doing the same thing you did last year – mindlessly pretending to “connect” away?
For the record, connection is NOT:
- Having 5000 followers on twitter
- Having 1000 facebook friends
- Meeting people at networking events
What is it then? Social media is personal and individual and we all use it differently. But there’s too much confusion facing new entrants to this ‘game’, and even those who’ve been using it for a while are re-evaluating their gameplan.
About freakin’ time!
Some facts:
- This here’s an information overload age
- If you’re the average social media user, you probably truly interact with 20-50 people in your expanded, belly bulging lists of “friends”, no matter what social media sites you use
- The rest collect dust and give you the appearance of being popular and a “somebody”
- An occasional tweet or message does not a relationship build
When you see a few names in your facebook home feed that make you double back and ask “who the heck is this and why don’t I remember adding them as friends”, you know it’s time to re-evaluate your online life (yes, that just happened to me and no I am NOT okay with that).
This was me in March:
And this is me in June:
It’s time to take our lives back. It’s time to get intentional. While I’m not going on a Social Media Purge (cos I was intentional about who I connected with for the most part), I’m ready for a Social Media Diet.
And you, if you are as well, here’s what I’m proposing.
An experiment. To get intentional with your social media habits. What’s the point in letting hordes of people clog up your mindspace for the off chance that you’ll connect with them *someday*?
They won’t be your clients *someday* they won’t be your partners *someday*, you will not have built up equity *someday* , and you will not have a friendship *someday*, if you don’t start connecting with them NOW.
Three Steps to Intentional Social Media:
1) Pick 5 people a week
2) Invite them to connect with you
3) Connect!
That’s it. That’s all you need to get started turning some of those meaningless contacts into a living, breathing, relationship.
While 15 minutes will not make you bosom buddies, it’s a start. You’re fooling yourself if you think you’ve got any semblance of a real relationship right now unless you’ve actually spent time tweeting / emailing / chatting with someone.
Just reading someone’s tweets doesn’t mean you’re ‘connecting’.
Social media is a tool, one that you can use to meet people you’d never meet otherwise. It is NOT and never will be a substitute for an in person or phone connection.
So how do you take action and start getting intentional?
Here’s an idea – invite someone out for coffee. Set up an account on tungle.com and block off 15 min a day to speak with someone. Send the link out to your “friends” and ask them to make time for you.
If you can’t make that effort or don’t have the time or inclination then at least be honest with yourself about the huge amount of time you’re wasting, the people you’re allowing into your life you don’t care about, and the false sense of achievement these numbers bring.
Because when the you-know-what hits the fan, you’re going to do it anyways. Don’t wait for that to happen – get smart and get intentional today.
Start with https://www.tungle.me/tiasingh – leave me your number, block a time & lets get chatting. I’m looking forward to it!
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Ps: I would LOVE to hear from you how you’re navigating and balancing this online virtual world with your ‘real’ life and what YOUR social media strategy is. Thanks in advance for sharing!
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Hi Tia,
Love your voice in this piece. Very strong! I totally agree. What does a ton of twitter followers or Facebook friends really mean? I’d rather have 50-100 folks that I connect with regularly. In fact, when I only had 100 followers, I connected with them a lot. Now, it’s hard to keep up with folks.
And it’s all in the connection. I find it easier to visit someone’s blog once a week and develop a connection that way. They go to your site, you go to his or hers.
I joined a civics group in my town, where we discuss issues of the day specifically to be in the presence of folks. Wherever I go in my town, I see people I know. Fun! As you say social media is not a substitution for face-to-face interaction.
Great idea to invite folks to connect with you. Enjoy your conversations!
Giulietta
Julie, great to hear from you. We spent time talking on the phone and without that we would be just two more random strangers.
While this may not be possible for people with thousands of “connections’, my question is – why even have that many? I’m all for simplifying and solidifying.
Yes, blog comments are another great way to connect with people cos we can share so much more of our thoughts and personalities that way, more than a mere 160 characters ever can.
I LOVE social media for the opportunities it gives us to meet amazing people, and it’s now up to us to make the most of them. Thanks for dropping by 🙂
This is exactly what I needed to read. Yes, I want people to hear my message and Yes, I want to cultivate friendship. I now know I can have both ways.
Thank you Tia.
You are an inspiration.
Linda
Linda, thank you for taking the plunge and tungle-ing me! Looking forward to speaking with you soon – my first social media experiment friend 🙂
And YES, you can share your message AND cultivate friendships. Working past the either-or into the and-and is awesome. Thanks for the message!
Hey Tia
I love this post – and I love the idea of intentional social media. In fact I just commented on my facebook page how much I love the people showing up in my facebook stream these days – such a delicious stream of people.
I’m connecting with ‘connection’ and I am diggin’ you, girlfriend! Love it.
Zoe
Hey Zoe, love that we’re connecting so much more these days even though we’ve “been connected” for over a year. See, this is what I mean – losing out on getting to know people by not being intentional sucks.
I’m getting there slowly, cleaned up my twitter feed big time, now onto facebook. I’d love to skype you one day!
Hi! Shout out to you because we are two “Tia’s” on the 21.5.800 project! I was a social media coach and “blogsultant” for a few years and I totally agree with what you’ve written here on the number of followers. I have a personal limit of not following more than 200 (though I like to keep it at a 100) and I frequently go through my feed and unfollow those are simply too noisy and non-connective. Zero interest in seeing high numbers that are more about ego than connection. Many blessings to you in your work~ Tia
Tia!! You made me do a double take!! I thought I’d developed a brand new skill of sleep typing .. phew, it’s another Tia not me so MAC obsessed that I’m sleep social media-ing. LOL!
Hey, so great to meet another Tia on the same project – this is synchrodestiny my friend. We will have to chat! I hear ya – it’s personal for everyone and yet, I’m determined to inspire people to be more intentional.
Nothing in life lasts ling without an intention of some sort, yes? Look forward to getting to know you Ms Tia 🙂 Pleasure to see you here!
Man your VOICE! I love it when the personality of a writer shines through and as for this post I loved the questions you raise. Very valid questions and very practical advice. Rock on Tia. 🙂
Thanks Sunny! This is part of my voice getting louder & stronger this year 🙂 Looking forward to writing that post for you. Good to see you here again.