I asked this question in my last post about life, death and passion.
Amidst the responses here and in my inbox from people who knew what they loved and wanted, were some who didn’t.
I don’t believe there’s a single person on Earth who ISN’T passionate, who didn’t have a dream growing up.
But somewhere along the line, you lost sight.
Except, you didn’t really.
Something happened.
Something that scared you into hiding your dreams deep inside, safe from the world, from anyone who might crush them before they’ve had a chance to come true.
A major reason you can get stuck answering this question is thinking that you need to have one answer for this.
Find that one overriding passion you can dedicate your life to, to find your ‘purpose’ in life.
Being a multipassionate person, it’s no wonder you struggle with this!
Because you’re looking for THE passion.
Which mostly doesn’t exist.
Life isn’t about finding the ‘ultimate’ passion, it’s about living out all of them in varying degrees. Choosing what feels good, what feels resonant with you. Deciding what you want to experience next.
Like I said in that post about passion – the happiest people in the world are those who have a goal/dream and are making progress towards it.
Why is this so important?
Because a life without dreams, a life without passion is half a life. It leads to regrets and sadness. And btw, when I say passion I don’t mean activism or jumping out of planes – it could be something like reading or walking too.
Your passions are very personal and unique to you, even if others share the same passions cos how you interpret them and bring them into your life is something only you can do.
Oh and your dreams, your desires are 10000% valid JUST because you have them. You do NOT have to defend them to anyone, or feel guilty about wanting what you want, k?
There’s no time like the present to get started. So here are 5 ways to help you find, own and live your passionate life out loud.
Yeah but … thoughts are starting to pop up, aren’t they? Listen, just for now, ignore the voice that says ‘this is impractical’ or ‘this will never happen’. Send it out for a walk.
Then grab a journal or piece of paper and start answering these questions. Give yourself a chunk of time or a few minutes of ‘fantasy’ time a day to do this. That’s how you let go of the practicalities for the moment. No BUTS allowed.
Describe the scene. What was happening? Who were you with? What were you doing? What was being said about / to you? How were you feeling? What did you love about that moment?
Eg: A time I felt really alive was when I was in Delhi with my friends and we all jumped into a car in the middle of the night and drove into the city to get ice-cream at India Gate. We’d been hanging out at a friend’s place laughing and talking and someone suggested we go for a joyride. It was so spontaneous and fun, we laughed ALL the way, sang songs in the car and ribbed each other. I felt completely fulfilled, joyous, connected.
From this I get that I am passionate about fun, community and connection and any work that I do has to have these elements in them for me to feel truly alive and living my dream.
I’m also really happy when I am sipping hot chocolate and reading a book by the window as it rains and thunders outside. What I love about that is how mysterious and beautiful it seems from my cosy warm home.
This shows me that learning, nature and alone time is also important to me. So my ideal life must somehow incorporate these as well.
As a child you knew exactly what you wanted. Those weren’t just flights of fancy, they are real clues to finding your passion. If you don’t remember, ask your mom.
If you wanted to be an astronaut, what about it fascinated you? What did you love the most about the idea? Was it the adventure? The unknown? The enormity? The glory? The exclusivity? Start mining for these little pieces of gold.
They hold the keys to what makes you tick.
If you wanted to be a singer or teacher but didn’t have the voice or lost the passion for it, don’t give up hope! Maybe you won’t be a rockstar but you can still have singing in your life in other ways. You could teach singing, join a karaoke club, sing for fun, go to concerts etc. Get creative!
Btw, not every passion has to turn into a living. Thinking that is a big mistake.
Something or someone killed your dreams when you were a child. You are now responsible for bringing them back to life in ways that work for you.
Don’t ever let anyone tell you you can’t do something. Not even you.
How you do one thing is how you do everything. You may not have realised it but everything you do in life has to do with your values and belief systems.
A value is your moral and personal guide and compass to life.
A belief is a premise that you hold as truth, whether it is or not.
Together, these 2 are what determine how you live your life, respond, react, communicate, think and act. Eg: having a value of say, adventure, would tell you that you’re passionate about new experiences, learning and using certain skills.
Knowing this comes in handy when it comes to the kind of life and career you choose.
Don’t know what your values are? Start here with this list of values by Steve Pavlina and write down the ones that speak to you. Another way to do it is to create your own.
After all, this is your life – you get to live it your way and that includes deciding what values you want to prioritise. If everything you say and do is based on your values and beliefs, wouldn’t YOU rather be in charge of creating empowering ones instead of subconsciously being run by them?
Imagine your life 10 years down the line. If you kept doing what you’re doing today, believing what you believe today, would you be happy where you end up? Or is there something you need to change?
The things you want to do today that scare you – if you never did them, would you regret them in 10 years? 5? 1?
If so, I want you to read this:
There are the top 5 regrets of terminally ill patients:
I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
I wish I didn’t work so hard
I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
I wish that I had let myself be happier
(source: Inspiration and Chai)
Which one of these regrets sounds like you?
It’s not too late to start living the life you want, not the life you think you should have. It never is.
If there is no passion in your life, then have you really lived? Find your passion, whatever it may be. Become it, and let it become you and you will find great things happen FOR you, TO you and BECAUSE of you.” – Alan Armstrong.
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Your blog inspired me to answer the questions in part 1 on my own blog!
http://davidsinnerthoughts.wordpress.com/2011/09/01/passionate/
LOVE the list, DM! I love how clear and passionate your answers are. Can you share some of them here so others can have the pleasure of reading them too? Thanks so much for playing this full out – you rock!
Tia recently posted..5 Ways to Quit the Confusion & Find Your Passion
Sure! Didn’t want to clutter up your comments, but since you asked, I’d be delighted to!
1. What makes you smile?
Birds. Time travel.
2. What makes you lose time?
Web design. Writing. Creating games. Having a good conversation with a friend.
3. What comes naturally to you?
Writing. Spirituality/Philosophy. Interpersonal communication skills.
4. What can’t you stop talking about?
Maui. Religion/Spirituality/Philosophy. Making movies. Personal growth and development. The importance of following your dreams, living with unconditional love, relationships, personal growth, the meaning of life, doing what you’re passionate about, etc.
5. What are you really awesome at doing?
Writing. Facing fears. Quickly, cheaply, and easily moving to another part of the country. Managing money and sticking to a budget. Talking with, connecting to, and getting people to open up. Natural insight into motivations, emotions, psychology, etc — often when even the person him/herself isn’t yet aware. I learn new things very quickly, am always learning, and retain most of it in the future. I have a very good conceptual/abstract thinking/understanding. And I’m told I’m very good at simplifying difficult and/or abstract concepts and explaining them in easy-to-understand ways for everyone else; i.e., I’m a great teacher.
6. If you knew you could not fail, what would you do?
Build a time machine. Build my own entertainment production studio. Meet my soulmate and spend a whirlwind life romantic adventure with her. Invest in startups companies, stocks/options, real estate, and other things — growing a large portfolio, and using that wealth not only to better my own life, but make the world a better place too.
7. What would you do for free because you love it so much?
Anything creative, especially if I’m part of a creative team, working on a larger multimedia entertainment project (movie, game, etc). Working with other creative people, in person, is really important. But I love working creatively independently too. I just strongly prefer working with others too.
8. If you had 12 months to live, would you still be doing what you’re doing now?
Yeah, I think so. I’d maybe travel more, to see and be with more of my friends, which are currently scattered all over the country and world. But other than that — I’m living on Maui, and grateful every day. I’m paid to be a writer. I have free time. My connection and relationship with God is improving. I’m healthy and enjoy all the nature and beauty around me. I have lots of room to grow in my chosen career path. The only thing I want to change right now is being around people more. (I work from home and live by myself.) I need to be connecting, in person, with people more. That’s it. Really.
I really liked your point about not having just *one* thing you’re passionate about. I think we get that message a lot in this world — that you have to be really specific, or have a niche, etc. My interests have always been wide and varied — they’ve shifted throughout my life as well. (And as an introvert, there’s always a lot going on inside my head!)
Just a couple of weeks ago I stumbled on to the fact that I’m passionate about two things: social media and museums. And now I’m figuring out how to make a business out of it. I can lose hours quite happily doing this; it’s worthwhile, especially for small museums that don’t understand social media yet; and since social media is still in some respects in its infancy, I can always be learning new things even while I’m helping others.
Very inspiring post!
Susan recently posted..Yes, It’s Okay to Brag
I freakin love your answers! It’s never cluttering, it might just inspire someone else to do theirs
We learn by example and it can be life changing to answer these questions. Thanks so much David!
Tia recently posted..On Life, Death and the In-between.
Susan, did you read the Scanner post? I think you’ll find the comments really useful http://www.yourlifeyourway.net/2011/04/21/a-scanners-resume-how-to-tell-if-youre-one/!
Kudos on that clarity, and yes there’s a lot you can do with those two. Hey are you open to a suggestion? How about a brainstorming session – get some friends together for an hour or so, let them bring their ideas, you bring the cupcakes.
Tell them your dream, the obstacles surrounding it and let them throw out ideas and solutions, no matter how improbable they seem. Have one person writing down the ideas. Don’t discard any, look for the gold in them!
This will get you thinking about different ways to bring the two together with an open mind while having tons of fun. If you do this, I would love to hear what comes up for you. Thanks so much for sharing!
ps: Got the idea from one of Barbara Sher’s books “I could do anything if I only knew what it was” Excellent book, I highly recommend it along with Wishcraft and Refuse to Choose.
Tia recently posted..YLYW Interview # 12: Leo Babauta’s Guilty Pleasure
The trouble I seem to have is that I have too many passions. But maybe that’s my passion in itself. The pursuit of knowledge, bettering myself, reaching for more and touching lives! It’s an “inclusive” passion of sorts. Sub-passions of mine would have to be music, business, writing, tennis, family & traveling. So many more, but those are just a few.
Christian Hollingsworth recently posted..Answering Reader Questions via Blog Post
Thank you. A great post, and a great video to emphasize your Main Thesis.
TIA!! Amazing post, love! I am always saying that I think one of the worst emotions we can experience in life is the feeling of regret. I am always encouraging everyone I know/work with (inluding myself!) to live in a way that you will have no regrets. I know that if I am always proud of the woman I am and how I’ve “shown up” in all situations, I’m golden! Thanks for such a great read! Party on, friend.
Love that vid, sends chills up my spine (and no, I’m not cold, lol).
Tia recently posted..On Life, Death and the In-between.
Typical #Scanner traits, Christian http://www.yourlifeyourway.net/2011/04/21/a-scanners-resume-how-to-tell-if-youre-one/! Sounds like your umbrella is learning and everything else spokes off from it. Thanks for dropping by
Tia recently posted..9 Reasons Your Blog Isn’t Bringing You Clients
Thanks Amy! Yeah, on regrets .. I read somewhere once that the % of google searches for “I should have kissed her/him” vs “I shouldn’t have” was about 90%:10%. Go figure.
Tia recently posted..YLYW Interview # 11: Joel Runyon Does The Impossible
Inspiring article. When I was young my passion was art – and apparently I was pretty good. Unfortunately I was also extremely introverted on top of a troubled family situation, and even though I was awarded an art scholarship I opted to get a ‘real’ job to escape home. I still find ways to indulge my creative muscle, but I am determined to revisit my original passion sooner rather than later.
marquita herald recently posted..People Helping People
Marquita – I’m heartened to hear that the dream didn’t die completely and you’re still finding ways to have art/creativity in your life. The sooner the better my friend, the sooner the better. LOVE your avatar btw – creative and fun
Thanks for keeping the passion alive.
Tia recently posted..300. Reasons to be happy. Things to love about your life. NOW.
Hi Tia – just saw your link to this post pop up on Facebook – hope it’s still OK to answer your question.
Me, I’m passionate about writing. Well, communication in general, really. I’ve always loved it, ever since I was little, and used to write stories for my parents (and my stuffed toys, and my friends, and my… well, you get the idea)
I have a lot (and I mean a *LOT*) of other passions beyond that – I definitely identify with the “multipassionate” label you’ve created. But writing… writing has always been my big love
Tanja recently posted..Wednesday Wishcasting: wishing to let go of self-doubt?
It sounds like a cliche because so many other people seem to say the same thing, but my passion is writing. As a child, I would spend hours on my bedroom floor, my head buried in a book. I loved fantasy, things that would make my imagination go into overdrive. I longed to be the next Roald Dahl or Enid Blyton.
But I never thought my own writing could be good enough to publish. I used to try and write stories or songs, and end up feeling disappointed with the results. But without realising it, I’ve continued writing nonetheless. I’ve started numerous blogs over the years, and I spend an awful lot of time reading the writing of others in books, newspaper columns and blogs. I’m starting to think that maybe, if I try my hardest, writing could be something I get to do for a living after all…
There’s nothing wrong with hoping, right?
Becca recently posted..Coincidences that hit you like a ton of bricks
It’s ALWAYS okay to respond to a post
Thank you for doing so Tanja! I find it fascinating how we’re all so compelled to write .. or maybe it’s the awesomesauce people here. Even in multi-passionates, there are different types (but, of course!). Some have 1-2 major passions, some have changing passions, some are cyclical etc. Appreciate you sharing, love!
Tia recently posted..75 Most Empowering, Inspirational Quotes for Sassy, Kickass Women
I reckon it’s cos we ALL have a story to tell, and writing is the easiest (not always though, ha!) form of self expression. And BECCA! You just took me back to MY childhood talking about Enid Blyton. I am so excited you mentioned her – NO ONE I know in Canada has heard of her and she was such a huge part of my life growing up. I like you already
Not just if you try your hardest, but if you allow yourself to be guided by your muse and be lit up by your passion for expression and just … write whatever needs and wants to be written.
When you’re on a mission, it’s irresistible. Be the artist!
Tia recently posted..21 Things I know To be True.
I loved Enid Blyton! The Famous Five made me long to go on wild adventures
Thank you for the words of motivation. It’s so easy for me to be despondent and to pour cold water on my own dreams. Society tells us that work should be something to endure, not enjoy. I almost feel selfish and foolish for daring to dream of something bigger and better for myself.
Thanks for such a great read! I love how clear and passionate your answers are.
Eunice James recently posted..Cancer Tattoos Tumblr
Wow..this is really inspiring! Thank you for taking the time to write it
I honestly don’t have a lot of things I’m passionate about though.. I’m hoping someday I’ll be able to find some stuff I’m afraid it’ll be too late then though ! Argh!! So many fears lol
Don’tttttttt!! Don’t feel foolish! Think of the Wright brothers – if they had worried about that, who knows how much longer it would have taken us to fly! Be a maverick!
Tia recently posted..50 Top Tips & Best Ways to use Pinterest for Business
Thanks Eunice!
Tia recently posted..50 Top Tips & Best Ways to use Pinterest for Business
Shriya, did you explore the questions for yourself? I highly recommend that! There is NO SOMEDAY – there is only today. Please don’t put it off and regret at the end of your days.
Tia recently posted..50 Top Tips & Best Ways to use Pinterest for Business
Thank you for the motivation! you are so right, I guess I was putting off exploring the queestions thorougly because in a way I think I might not have a passion, but I’ll definitly do it so no regrets! thanks for replying!
Errr.. I don’t for a SECOND believe that you don’t have a passion – thing is, we make entirely too much about passion .. it is whatever you love to do! Do it, and do it again a few weeks later. Feel free to come back and tell me what came up, or email me!
Tia recently posted..50 Top Tips & Best Ways to use Pinterest for Business
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