Are You Trying Too Hard?

To get it right?Trying Too Hard
To be perfect?
To win?
To do what you think you should do, so that things work out they way you think they should?

I have been. All month!

This was the month I was going to write my fabulous articles about money and our beliefs around them. When I was going to inspire many people to look into their beliefs, challenge them and help them change their money relationship. When I was going to power through and blow all obstacles out of the water!

I tried. I wrote a few drafts, I thought about the best way to write it etc.

And guess what? Nothing! No inspiration, no words flowing, nada.

Flavour of the month.. didn’t do what I said I would, my ezine was 2 days late, I didn’t go to the gym for 3 weeks, I’m feeling guilty about wasting money, not eating right etc. Pile it ON!

By resisting these feelings I was only making it worse. It took reading a blog post by my adopted (by me) mentor and most amazing friend Ms Maw to wake me up to what I’ve been doing.

Fighting the natural order of things, the way I am and trying to change too much too fast and expecting it to be perfect.

Now one might say there’s nothing wrong about expecting change to be perfect and one might agree but one might also have to be aligned with that feeling 😉 Hello, I forgot that caterpillars have to wriggle their way of of their cocoon to turn into butterflies .. it can get a little uncomfortable at times I’m guessing.

When we feel resistance to not doing our best, that makes some of us not do our best .. actually it makes some of us not do anything at all! Until we feel guilty and do something totally uninspired.

For me, this month has been uninspiring in terms of writing blog posts – so I re-purposed 2 articles/ezine issues into posts. They turned out to be the ones with the least comments or engagement so far. The Universe sensed the energy it was done with, much?

  • So from not ever working out to going to the gym 4-5 times a week for a month = too much of a change for me to handle, hence 0 visits the 2nd month.
  • From writing hardly any blog posts to promising to write a great one that would change your life = setting myself up for failure.
  • From never joining contests to even caring about them to  joining a Best Coaching Blogs contest and wanting to win = I’m not good enough if I don’t. Being first means I’m the BEST, darn it! And BEST = Perfect!

I still want to win but it’s not *that* important anymore. Phew! Guess I’m not always going to be the best … get it right or be perfect or win or only do what feels good ay ;). Now how did I forget that? Ahh that’s right, cos I Was TRYING TOO HARD! You know what I’m talking about, don’t you.

Giving Up Resistance ~

So I’m relinquishing the fight as well. I give up expecting myself to know it all, have it all and look like I do. I give up the urge to tell myself I have too much to do and instead appreciate how much I’ve done!

And I know that when I write the Money and Beliefs post it will happen when the timing is perfect and will probably help more people when I do write it than if I did it last week. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

I let go of my resistance to go the gym and stop sponsoring them thanks to my lack of usage. They’re nice people, they deserve my money! So, Gym people, you’re welcome to my $70 for May and I hope you spend it on lattes and ice-creams in this gorgeous weather.

I love how Inspired Action shows up when I’m least expecting it! From not being able to write for 2 weeks to banging out this post within minutes. That’s my feel good and that’s how I’ll always do it. Yeah!

This already feels lighter. I’m off to eat some Horlicks out of the jar (wld’ve been Nutella but I ran out). This giving up resistance thing feels good.

What do YOU do when you find yourself trying too hard?

ps: to vote for me go to the “Best Coaching Blogs” icon top right corner. Thanks for the vote!

Facebook comments:



  1. says

    Woooohoooo, Tia! See? Nothing unstops the creative juices like going with the flow. 🙂 Love the post, and I’m right there with ya, my friend.

    I’ve written three blog posts recently that I didn’t even publish, because I felt that I tried too hard to get them right. I, too, love the ones that flow effortlessly from my fingers in no time flat. The ones I have to think about, research and re-word over and over are for the scrap pile. It’s a blog, not a novel or study.

    Sometimes when I feel too much resistance, what works for me is to take my hands off the wheel and let the machine go where it wants to because it’ll correct itself.

  2. says

    Great post. I’ve totally been there. Trying, trying so hard, stressing myself out, and not feeling good. Then realizing…stop – let go – surrender! Surrender doesn’t mean to give up, it means to stop fighting! ah ha~

    Thanks for writing this. It’s a great reminder~

  3. says

    Thanks for the awesome comment Dana! Guess we sometimes fail at practicing what we preach hey 😉 That’s what makes us human, lol. I say we go back to the Easy Button! Taking our hands off the wheel and turning it on auto pilot sounds grand to me. It’s important to do that every now and then. Here’s my new Mantra: I’m on Cruise control, BABY! Thank you for that inspiration.

  4. says

    Kat, thanks for stopping by and welcome to the blog 🙂

    These are words of pure gold my friend “Surrender doesn’t mean to give up, it means to stop fighting!” Perfectly said! It’s going on my wall, thanks!

  5. says

    Hi Tia!

    Great post, and I can totally relate! This past weekend was a long weekend here in the US, and I totally felt like I needed to take advantage of the extra day off work and be PRODUCTIVE! I had all these grand plans of writing 20 pages for my ebook, writing blogs, etc., but all my body wanted to do was rest and relax all weekend… so that’s what I ended up doing! Laying in the park, watching the Jon & Kate Plus Eight marathon all weekend, and taking plenty of naps:)

    At first I felt seriously guilty and couldn’t stop thinking about all the things I *should* have been doing with the extra time. But you know what? By the end of the long weekend I felt so amazingly good and relaxed, that I figured those juicy good feelings were worth more than any work I could have accomplished over the weekend! And once I realized that, I felt so much better:)

    Oh! And I ordered pizza twice over the weekend and completely let myself indulge… and yesterday my clothes were literally looser than they were just a few days ago!

    lovin’ life,

  6. says

    Oooh Mary! What a fabulous example of following your feel good, giving up the resistance, listening to your body and taking inspired action! I’m willing to bet that when you got back to the shoulda, coulda, wouldas, that it all flowed just perfectly.

    It’s all about being in the moment and really making the most of it, isn’t it. You just showed us how to do that on cruise control .. hehe. A pleasure to have you comment here, thank you!

    ps: naps … something ELSE in common there zzz love ’em!

  7. says

    Hello Tia,
    What a great post. You are such beautiful and honest person. Ok..this is the really weird part, my newest blog post about Being Brilliant touches on this. I was fighting so hard, to find 20 ways in which I excelled at something, that I completely missed the point, ended up frustrated and did not write for almost two weeks. Finally after seeing your email, I relaxed, and stopped stressing about being ..sorry trying to be perfect. I love being imperfect. Imperfection involves so much creativity, fun and freedom. I am proud of you. Now go buy some Nutella!

  8. says

    Go Giselle! I’m smiling as I see the new Sun dawn over you 🙂 So much easier to be Imperfectly Perfect. And as you said, so much more fun and freedom when we let loose like a kite flying high, going where the wind takes us, but always UP. Enjoy the ride my beautiful friend, you’ve got it going on! Hugs xo

  9. says

    Wow… Thank you for sharing.
    It resonates SO much and I admire you for writing all of this on black and white (and red!) for the world to see and get inspired.
    One of my beliefs is that everything happens for a reason and I also believe that sometimes, we do not know why (yet) but that in the long term, we will.
    There is a right time and a right place for things 😉
    Beautiful post!

  10. says

    Yay Freddie! Thanks, putting it down in Black and White (and Red) to be forever found in the annals of Internet-dom shows I’m ready, willing and able to fail, foul and flaunt my imperfections for the higher good 😉 I mean, that’s our human birthright, right?

    Didn’t some famous athlete say “It’s all about the Timing”? Like a chick being hatched, caterpillars turning into b’flies – it’s all about timing. What better reason to trust that everything works out the way it’s meant to!

    Thanks for chiming in, Smiley Entrepreneur!

  11. Jon says

    LOVE this post! So many of those things you say apply to me so much, I’m afraid to even say it! Thanks Tia!

  12. says

    There is a scripture that tells us not to say “I am going to take a trip to such and such a place.” But to say that we will take that trip if God is willing.

    For me this has taken on so much more meaning recently as I have released myself from expectations and embraced the fact that we not only don’t control our entire universe, but that doing so would not be in the least desirable…

    Being open to something other than what I had “planned” allows me to embrace the random opportunities the universe throws in each of our paths daily.

    It my be Tia, that you didn’t write the articles that you had planned to write, but I would be willing to bet your life was not empty in that time period either!

    Accept what is embracing the present moment and I guarantee that whether you accomplish everything you set out to do in the time you allowed, you will be rewarded and fulfilled!

  13. says

    ” I have released myself from expectations and embraced the fact that we not only don’t control our entire universe, but that doing so would not be in the least desirable…” nice one Jim, after all we don’t want to rule the Universe (oh well, maybe some of us do!). I will say though, that we are in charge of our own individual Universe, ie, creating our world as we want it.

    Knowing what you want in life and having a plan helps us get there faster but you are absolutely right when you say that being open to opportunities is what it’s all about! The journey, not the destination as much, cos sometimes we get to the end and realise that getting there was more satisfying! Hence the “I have it all, now what” syndrome.

    Life’s little twists and curves make for an interesting time, don’t you think 🙂 And I like to think that what seems random, is often a delicious, juicy little side-track that isn’t random at all – it’s just what was meant to happen!

    So when I don’t write those articles I said I would or not do others things I want to, I know that something else is happening that’s more relevant at the moment. Nothing is ever lost, it merely sits in the continuum of time and space, waiting to be revealed when the time is right.

    If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my LOA practice, it’s this – The Timing Is Always Perfect and It’s All Happening The Way It’s Meant to!

    Thank you for your amazing contribution to this and a few other blog posts. You open our minds and challenge us to think deeper. I can tell I’m going to like you a lot, Jim!

  14. says

    Love that Sharon, Let Go and Let God. Indeed, there is relief in letting go … not giving up, but leaving the oars, stopping the upstream battle and gently floating downstream ..


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