“I wish I could be like you”, she said. “To just up and travel the world, have adventures and be free… but I can’t, I’ve got a career, husband, children, mortgage, standard of living I’m used to and I can’t give that up!”
“Keep writing about your adventures, I’m living vicariously through you”, said another friend.
“Oh if only I had more time … there aren’t enough hours in the day to do what I want. I’m so tired”, says a third.
Sample sentences I’ve heard over the years. The question isn’t if you have the time, money, energy or desire. It’s about what you make more important than that.
And whatever that is, is perfectly okay as long as you know that’s what you’re doing consciously.
What do you make more important than your time?
What do you make more important than your happiness?
What do you make more important than your dreams?
What do you make more important than LOVE for your fellow human bee-ing?
As coaches we are taught to ask ourselves “what am I making more important than serving my client” or “what am I allowing to stop me from acting with courage and calling someone forth”?
And the answers vary from looking good, to wanting to be liked, being seen as an expert, not wanting to make mistakes, not wanting to offend someone, keeping the status quo, being comfortable and so on.
And we learn that to step out of that comfort zone of fear (yep, it’s almost always some sort of fear), is a huge gift – for ourselves and for our clients.
It’s the SAME for you, no matter what work you do or what your life looks like.
How often are you willing to risk your relationship with people to get to a more truthful and intimate place? From openness and sharing comes a connection and level of understanding deeper than you may ever have experienced.
When you truly share yourself in vulnerable truth, you allow others to be more of who they are.
I’ve been thinking about these concepts a lot since I assisted my 2nd coaching course this weekend. There’s something truly magical about a room full of people who feel safe enough to drop their masks and really reach out to each other at a core, human level. To be seen as who they really, truly are – messy and beautiful all at once.
Oh my, can you imagine that!?
A world where we all operate from a space of love and authenticity instead of fear? Encouraging and supporting each other rather than protecting ourselves from each other?
We’ve all got that to some degree, I’m asking you to magnify it 10000 times and stretch it beyond your loved ones.
And to trust that whoever shows up will be loved and heard intimately, without judgement.
To be heard is one of our biggest “needs” in life. Just think for a moment – when you are in a conversation with someone, how much of it is you listening to them and how much is you forming a response to them before they’ve even stopped talking? Man I know I’m guilty of that.
Your presence (and that includes listening), is one of the most precious gifts you can give to anyone.
Today, what would happen if you reached out to someone close to you and really SAW them, HEARD them and EXPERIENCED them from a space of curiosity and openness?
No barriers, no judgement, just the core of them. What would happen?
Go on, I invite you to be a part of this little experiment. Try it for a day, an hour. How did it impact your relationship with your mother, father , husband, wife, child, friend, boss, employee, banker, bus driver, tooth fairy, dog, cat, minister? I’d love to hear your experience, thanks in advance for sharing!