What would you do if you woke up one day and realised that what you wanted all this while, isn’t what you really want after all?
Having spent time, money, energy, thought and effort towards realising your goals, what if you realised you’d got it all wrong?
It started with an idea “Change One Thing Today – Do something differently” well before I turned it into my first Tuesday Tip.
I did something differently. I decided to eat a healthy breakfast and lunch, ON TIME. I cleaned. I created space for paperwork I’d been ignoring.
Subconsciously clearing space in my head for something to shift.
And suddenly it came to me. The reason I hadn’t manifested some BIG things that I’d been wanting for a while. Holy epiphany baby!!
All this while my dream has been to live in a beautiful 5 BR home, with a sun room, wraparound porch, orchard in the back, mountain and lake views (I’ve got it down in exact detail – focus is GOOD), work from home, have a wonderful group of amazing, supportive friends who I see every week, get married to an amazing man and raise 3 wonderful kids, vacation 2X a year..
And all this while I’ve been manifesting amazing things …. on a way smaller scale.
A partner who wasn’t quite what I wanted, an apartment that was adorable but not quite the 5 BR home, good friends but with not quite the level of connection I envisioned, money flowing to me easily but not as much as was possible, vacations that weren’t AS fun as I’d been dreaming up …
Then it hit me.
I’d been trying to get aligned with the big stuff, thinking that’s what would attract that dream life to me. But I didn’t realise till recently that while I do want those things, I’m not ready.
I just THOUGHT I was!
The truth is, no, not right this minute.
I still want all that but not right now. So when I tried to manifest these biggies, it kinda skewed up the results as I was asking for one thing and vibing another. I hadn’t thought about the flip side of getting what I wanted – the subconscious opposition to my grand desires were the spokes in the wheel.
No WONDER it’s not happened yet, duh. I told you it was simple…
Silly Bridget, Silly Me.
Aligning with what it would feel like to have that house, husband, kids wasn’t making me feel good, it was making me anxious – Fish sticks!
I forgot the most BASIC tenet of manifesting ie, It Has To Feel Good. Good, Good, Good.
Since these were my ‘big’ dreams, once I wrote them down, I assumed that’s what I wanted and didn’t even think to question them. Maybe in a year, but right now I can’t see myself living in that house cos it would mean being in the ‘burbs, driving, a mortgage .. when what I REALLY want is to be a centrally located city girl for a wee while longer.
Ooops. Ooops. Oopsies!
Basic Tip # 1 If thinking about what you want stresses you out rather than making you happy, it might not be what you really want.
Wow. Ok. So what does this mean? When you visualise, afform, affirm, use manifesting techniques to get what you want by trying to feel now how great it would feel then, it WON’T work well if you`re not ready, able n willing.
We can only manifest what we are READY for, what we’re in alignment with in this moment. Tweaking goals is one way to get closer to surreality (the feeling of YES, this is IT!).
Let`s look at this a bit more closely:
-I’m not ready to be a house owner living in the ‘burbs, but
-I AM READY for the lovely 2 BR D/T apartment with great views and a pool
– I’m not ready to be married or meet my husband right now, but
– I AM READY to be in a great relationship with an amazing man who I adore
– I’m not ready to be a gym bunny health nut eating super healthy food, but
– I AM READY to work out 3 times a week, cook healthy meals twice a week
See what I mean? Don’t shut the door on your dreams but be SUPER clear about what you are ready to manifest right now – the rest can come in good time. So it’s not about asking for the big dream and getting into alignment with it (yes I know I just said that our work is to be in alignment but sometimes re-doing the goal IS what gets us into alignment).
Stay with me, it’s quite the A-HA moment here!
Basic Tip # 2 When your dreams feel exciting and scary or TOO big, know that it’s probably not happening NOT cos it’s too big. Nor is it always a self limiting belief keeping you from getting it. What it is, is that they may not feel like YOU right now, or you need to do take smaller steps, getting comfortable at each level as you get closer to the penthouse.
Funny thing is, as I redefine what I want in a way that feels more like ME and what I want now (as opposed to tomorrow), a little magic happens and I find myself automatically becoming ready for more – without the pressure and expiry date we sometimes attach to our wants.
And as those happen, I get more and more aligned with my bigger desires.
Paradoxical, yet true. It’s like living in 2 Universes where I’m ready for the next step AND ready for the bigger one but not if I’m not ready for the next step before the one after.
All this while I thought it was about me not getting what I want cos I didn’t believe I deserved it. And in some cases it might have been true but mostly I realise its cos my alignment radar was off and I was trying to align myself with what I wanted but wasn’t yet ready to have.
Geez, I’ll stop before I confuse us all by overexplaining in my excitement! I know some of you will you get what I’m saying and will help explain it better so thanks in advance for that.
Basic Tip #3 If you’ve been manifesting for a while and don’t have what you asked for, try:
- Changing or reframing your desires
- Checking in with your goal: is it a self limiting belief or is it something you’re just not ready for?
- Asking what would happen if you got the big dream. How would your life change? Are you ready for that? What do you need to do to be ready for that change?
- Looking at other areas of your life, they could be telling you something
(For eg, if I can’t commit to a yearly gym membership inspite of having been a member for 6 months already, if I can’t sign an apartment lease and prefer to go month by month, it could be telling me I’m not committed to living here. Or there could be a lesson to learn as in “signing a lease does not mean I’m stuck forever, I can always get out of it”.
Er … in this case it would mean I equate owning a home or having a lease to mean loss of freedom. So you can see the work I have to do to change this relationship with homes and leases! Yikes!)
Once you’ve looked into these aspects, I have a feeling you’ll see things start happening much faster.
As my friend Cheri said the other day: “If you think of your life ‘too far’ down the road its hard to align with what you think it ‘should be’. Trusting that you are in the right place and things will flow in the right time makes a big difference!”
Couldn’t have summed it up better than that. Thanks Cheri!
Would love to hear from you – when you’re manifesting the BIG things, would you do anything differently than if it was something small? How do you know you are ready and what do you do if you’re NOT ready for what you want ? Thanks for sharing!