When WILL You Learn!?

Throwing a Tantrum to Manifest FasterIf you’re new to this blog and the Law of Attraction, you’re forgiven for wondering why the last 2 posts are all about emotional meltdowns!

And if you’re not, you totally understand how the Universe operates – with perfect timing, repeating lessons till they are fully learned, absorbed and taken aboard.

It all started this morning as I woke up in a great mood and tweeted ”Act the way you want to feel, you’ll get there faster”.

It came from realising that sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we can’t get to that feel good place by trying. What works then, is to act the way you’d like to feel.

I’m not just talking about faking it till you make it.

Rather, when you can’t change how you’re feeling, take the attention away from that feeling and focus it on an action. Like playing music, reading a book, going for a walk, dressing up as though you’re going out (even if you’re not), heck even throwing a tantrum.

Fast forward 2 hours later and I tweeted ‘‘every mistake happens for a reason – to teach you a lesson you would otherwise never learn (via gossip girls – some good came of my guilty pleasure!)”

Little realising how true it would soon prove to be (and how RELEVANT).

What happened? I’ve got a trip planned to New Zealand and my passport is expiring. I was looking for a Very Important document needed to renew the passport. I emptied suitcases, I turned out closets, and I looked through all my files 2-3 times each.

After 3 hours I was fuming and worrying that I wouldn’t find it on time and upset that I’d waited all this time to do it. Then I remembered my last post.

Breathe, let go, do something else. That took me to Jeannette’s blog where she talked about clothes and their vibrations.

Bear with me, I do have a point!

All of last week I’ve been purging things I don’t absolutely love. From clothes to shoes to books to home decor to linen, if I don’t love it, it is OUT.

Cos back in April I wrote a post about 7 Ways to Up your Vibe. Point 3 was ‘Take Out Stuff You Kinda Like or Are Tolerating’ and that’s what I was doing all week. All month actually.

It was great except for one thing. I forgot about the 2 boxes that I had lying in storage. Well I didn’t forget, I was being lazy to go through them thinking oh I’ll get to them later.

Back to the current story: Just like last time, all the techniques I was using to feel better weren’t working. So I did the one thing I rarely do but is the only thing that seems to work for me sometimes.

I threw a tanty (yes, really.. don`t knock it till you try it – sometimes we MUST let the kid out).

I banged doors; I face booked ”having an absolute kitten! frown frownity frown GAH!! (edited for brevity)”. I got mad at myself, I cussed at the Universe for doing this to me and demanded that it FIX this mess.

Then I went and lay down, feeling much calmer. A minute later, I opened a file. 30 seconds later, there it was. In my hand. The elusive 3 hour hunt that started in my apartment and went down to the storage area, through all my winter clothes and summer boxes ended where it started, with the first file I looked at.

Which got me thinking. Nothing is ever a co-incidence. So what was the message in all this? Cos you know there is one.

Here`s the deal:

  • Go all the way: Half a purge is better than no purge but if you really want results, you have to COMMIT and go all the way. This relates to anything and everything in life.
  • Release: By throwing a fit (or any other way), you release the anxiety that keeps you stuck, leaving space for a better vibe to creep in. Really, that`s ALL a tanty is – a no holds barred letting go of pent up negative energy passing like a storm and leaving stillness and openness in it`s wake..
  • Open the Door: If you keep holding on to how you are feeling, you block other feelings from coming up.
  • Make Space: Similarly, if you keep holding on to things you barely like, where’s the space for the things you LOVE?
  • Reflect: If you stop for a minute and think, you will find that the timing is ALWAYS perfect.
  • TRUST: If something sucks in your life right now, rest assured it is happening to teach you a lesson.
  • Know: One day you WILL be glad for it. Hindsight is always 20-20.

It has taken 2 blog posts and 3 days for me to finally get the message. I didn’t find the paper I needed because I was meant to get rid of the last vestiges of ‘tolerations and okay’s’ around me. It was the universal kick I needed to get my A into G and act my way into feeling better.

The divine timing could not have been better 🙂


Now I urge you to look into your life – what lessons are repeating over and over? What stories are you telling constantly? Where in your life do you have a blind spot? Look for something that never gets resolved – that is where your work is.

Facebook comments:



  1. says

    Thanks Iyabo! I do believe in feeling through the bad experiences to get past them and learn what there is to learn from them.

    Throwing a fit works cos it allows full expression ie no resistance ie quicker release of that negative thought process 🙂

    Thanks also for the acknowledgement – you are so good at that. Knowing I inspire people in some way makes it easier to share so openly. Thanks for being the 1st to comment, I`ve missed seeing you around.

  2. says

    Tia throwing a tanty! I LOVE it!!

    And especially this insight: “If you keep holding on to how you are feeling, you block other feelings from coming up.”

    Amen, sister.

    Thanks for a great read, Tia! 🙂

  3. says

    Haha I think I own that word tanty now 😉 I never realised that one – If you keep holding on to how you are feeling, you block other feelings from coming up – I mean I always related it to other things like give stuff away to create space for more but never thought to relate it to feelings! Love how that happens hey. And love you too Miss J. Always!

  4. Janette says

    OK seriously, you DO have a bug implanted in my brain, right? Or.. no, wait… I CREATED you specifically to blog about stuff that’s going on in my life at just the right time. Ha!

    I have been kinda sorta looking for a lost ring (okay, yes, my WEDDING RING) for months, doing a little bit of cleaning and purging at a time and pushing down the anxiety and fear that maybe, maybe it’s lost for all time. Because I’m 99.99% sure that when I took it off because of dermatitis, I carefully put it somewhere safe. And now I can’t remember if that’s what happened, or where it is.

    And I’ve been hiding my face from the fear that I’ve lost it because I don’t want to create that reality. So of course, I’m stuck in fear that I’ve lost it, and I continue to manifest it’s being lost. Ack!!!

    Thank you, magical Tia, for putting this in front of me so I could no longer keep ignoring it. And thank you for going through that experience so you could share it with the rest of us! 😉

  5. says

    Yes I do, I’m MI-3 don’t you know. I know where you keep your stash of marvel comics too hehe. I reckon you ARE a marvelous manifestor! And being of similar energy levels it’s no wonder we are all drawn to each other.

    WELL done on facing up to that fear of creating a reality you didn’t want. Cos by doing that, you stopped holding on to that vibe and let relief flow in! Only good things can come from a place of acknowledging and letting go 🙂

  6. says

    Tia- Love your willingness to be vulnerable and share your personal experience. It was a perfect example of how we can sabotage ourselves on the simplest of tasks. Can’t wait for further lessons on the law of attraction!

  7. says

    Thanks Sarah! It`s easy when I stop thinking about myself and focus on sharing my experiences for better or for worse. Hey, I`ll always be a work in progress and proud of it 🙂 Lovely to hear from you!

  8. Janette says

    *CLUNK* – sound of my jaw hitting the ground.


    I went back to look in the jewellery box for the forty-nine THOUSANDTH time. And there, buried under a brooch at the very back, was…. my ring.


    OK, that’s it. I surrender. Completely and totally. Resistance really is – as the Borg so kindly pointed out – futile.

  9. says

    I love this SO much do you know!? Like I said on FB, I am done with ever doubting the perfection of life and univsersal timing. Dang!

    A BRILLIANT example of how letting go and facing your fear turns the tide in your favour. Really, we put off so much in our lives by fearing the worst when it turns out nothing is ever as bad as we imagine. Why then, do we still run scared?

    Why? Why? Why? Why are we conditioned to expect the worst? Stories like this make me really question our intelligence sometimes, when it is SO easy, why then do we make it difficult.. LOL. Thanks for coming back to share the results. What a rockstar you are!

  10. says

    Yes! Yes! This is so funny Tia because this morning I woke up feelin’ not so amazing. So I took a half hour to listen to a mediation thingy … still not so amazing, actually even less not-so! So I did some eft. Well I went up a hair, literally a hair. I remembered a client of mine saying, “What’s so awesome about you is that you now know what to do!”

    Hmm …

    Well, the things I knew to do weren’t doing so I just said, “Ok, feeling, here you are. Welcome, welcome.” and accepted “Hey, this is the way I’m feelin’ right now.” and decided not to push against it.

    So today I did some good stuff. Plus I watched P. Diddy’s Starmaker. I added chocolate to my veggie shake cuz … well … Y’KNOW! A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. (By the way, ick! Do not do that!)

    Anyway, bottom line is … I am joining you! Thank you for documenting your stuff and your process! Love ya!

  11. says

    You are an original piece of art, really you are! Love the creativity of chocolate in your veggie shake, girl after my own chocaddiction!

    Isn`t is just amazing how sometimes we fight what`s going on and try to change it and yet by doing that we only make it worse. Giving up the fight is so much more effective. You can`t fight for peace..

    Say Col, isn`t this just fantastic and timely! Today`s TUT:

    ||| Have you noticed, that the more you hurry, the slower you go? The more you wait, the longer it takes? The more you worry, the less you dream? But the more you live, love, and laugh, the more you live, love, and laugh. |||

    Nuff said hey? Yeah!

  12. says

    Oh Col, the gravatars do exist – every post has a pretty smiling face next to it inside the WP dashboard! I just can`t figure out how to change the code to get them to show up on the posts (I got my brother to take them off months ago while testing the site). Any ideas?

  13. says


    This is my first time visiting and I am pleased at what I see! I definitely feel you and… let those emotions out! I am a firm believer in the fact that we are very clear on what we want when we are experiencing what we DON’T want… ya dig.


  14. says

    Hey Osok, welcome first time visitor! A pleasure to have a new guest at the party 🙂 Thanks for sharing that gem – to get clear on what `you want, get clear on what you don’t want.` That is definitely a great way to get clear esp for people who aren`t sure where to start or don`t know what they really want (different from what they SAY they want).

    Off to check out your blog now. Have a fabulous day!

  15. Meg says

    Fabulous post as always Tia! Thanks for sharing. Your words brought validation and clarity to me.

    Your the best!

  16. says

    Tia!!! You rock so deep! 🙂

    I love this post so much I just want to hug it. It makes me feel all kinds of fun-feel-good. You see…I’m quite familiar w/tanties. They don’t come often any more…oh but they used to. And they so serve their purpose! Now they’re funny short spurts; I like ’em. They make me laugh. Laughter is good.

    It’s all about release. I’m the kind of girl who feels everything in her body…so when stuff gets feeling like it’s all pent up…it’s got to go some where…and out is good. You know, like the tea kettle when it reaching boiling point it just has to whistle and let off some steam! I just know the tea kettle feels so good when it gets to that part of whistling. And then, when someone lifts the lid and begins to pour…oh heaven…sweet flow. Yup, me and the tea kettle relate well.

    *I’ve found lots of ways to release…so the tanty doesn’t take center stage any more. On occasion, a good tantrum still surfaces. And I allow. Some of my most fave tanty-alternatives: singing, dancing, drumming, jumping on the tramp, walking in nature. All do wonders in the release dept and help me to get clear, focused, centered and OPEN.

    …and Janette! LOVE your ring story! We’ve got something here in the house that’s gone missing since our recent move as well. I keep telling Mark, it’s somewhere you’ve already looked…it’s right there…and for what ever reason it’s just not time to see it yet. (I think it’s ’cause in the process of his looking he’s doing a WHOLE-LOTTA organizing, sorting, getting rid of, etc…so when the job is complete, he’ll find what’s gone missing ’cause it’ll be time it shows up.) *NO, I’m not hiding what he’s looking for just so he keeps with his organizing rant! …although if I knew where these things were, that wouldn’t be a bad idea!* teehee 😉

    Keep these cards and letters coming, Tia. Good Stuff! XO

  17. says

    Some Debsoul love, the best kind there is 🙂 Thank you gorgeous one!

    Tanties make me laugh too, often while I’m bang smack in the middle of them. In fact sometimes I drive myself to one just cos of how fast they clear the negative energy. About 3-4 good ones a year do me just fine, I reckon.

    Never thought to relate it to how kinesthetic I am, but of COURSE! That’s just it. My body and emotions are SO in tune with each other that some of my biggest indicators of change come through this vessel. I usually hurt or injure myself during times of stuckness – omigosh I am so blogging about that!

    Thanks for your beautiful presence here, you’re one of my favourite tweeple ever! Love you xo

  18. Anna says

    An in-line tale of truth…

    Yesterday, my son quickly became frantic as he searched for his wallet that had the four $5 bills he wanted to have changed into a $20 (he’s 9 and autistic, this is our life and it’s fun). He’d just come out of a Triple M (Most Major Meltdown) so I was keen to get this wallet found and avoid another fallout. Yes help me, don’t help me, why aren’t you helping me… I saw an opening and I took it – “I know exactly how you can find it – but first you have to sit on the couch and take a deep breath. Take it in, blow it out. Now ask your wallet where it is.”

    Took a couple of promptings, but he finally did it. “Wallet,” he demanded, “Show yourself to me!”

    He immediately stood up, walked directly to his red desk and next thing I heard was “Mama! Mama! You were right – IT WORKS!!”

    You betcha, Baby!

    I smile every time I think about where he is with his understanding of the Universe… and how he’ll thrive as he grows.

    I am LOVING this life!

  19. says

    A master manifestor at such a young age! Truly, wisdom resides in the souls of the young.. they are open to all things new and wonderful and so eager to embrace new concepts. I LIKE his firm no nonsense demand and I LOVE how that worked out for him 😀 Wish I’d known about these concepts growing up.. You ROCK momma Anna!

    ps: love the triple M description, LOL.

  20. says

    I have been derailed for a month and a half, have been away from my home and the conveniences that I realized I take for granted. I miss the connections and insights that your blog provides me. I am glad to be back and in the loop again.

    I once had a councilor tell me that I should take a stick and beat the tar out of a tree to release the pent up frustration that I felt. I have never actually done that because a brisk walk through the woods and just thinking about it has been enough release (or tanty) for me. I live in a remote area where I can loudly let out a yell (Arghhhhh!) and not worry that anyone will come running to see that it is me having a mini melt down.

    So the size and extent of the melt down depends on the situation, but to know that it is a great way to release the emotions and especially to clear the way for feeling better is awesome. Thanks, Tia.

  21. says

    Do you know how much I miss being able to yell in the woods, Berta!? What a great release that is. I reckon we NEED meltdowns from time to time unless you’re someone who makes regular dates with your inner self to process all those life frustrations.

    Oooohhh I like that idea – a weekly date with myself to let out everything I need, to listen to myself and not judge. It doesn’t have to be throwing things around (3-4 times a year does it for me) but it can be about allowing full expression in whatever way it wants to show up!

    (I love stomping my foot though, must be the little drama queen in me. LOL.)

    Good to have you back my friend and glad you’re all caught up and settled back in 🙂

    ps: hey get yourself a gravatar here http://en.gravatar.com/ so we can see your face


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