“You don’t marry someone you can live with – you marry the person who you cannot live without.” Anonymous.
And then he added “I’m grateful I found my Wife Sage!”
As a person who believes in the power of words and consciously creating reality, I was taken aback. A bit stunned, actually.
Yes, I fully get the being grateful part.
But this part here, this one where it says “marry the person you cannot live without”?
There are about 50 “likes” and a bunch of comments, almost all of them saying “this is so true”!
Seriously!? Did anyone actually stop and think about the words for a second?
(btw, this quote is anonymous and the post is NOT about Tony Robbins, it’s about looking closely at the language we use)
So I posted:
Eh .. not true. I LOVE the sentiment behind it but the fact is, you CAN live without that person – you just choose not to live without them. Which is what makes it so beautiful 🙂
Then someone said:
When you love someone so much that a single moment without them in your life is not an option then i guess it is not a matter of choice.…..it is about your survival as they are the air that you breathe (edited out)……you feel complete in the circle of life gifted by the Higher Being!
So I said:
Saying that you can’t survive without someone’s love… that’s the only part of what you said that I question. Cos there is always a choice. So I see this as a choice, to think and believe what we do individually. The rest? Simply beautiful, magical, amazing – you are blessed indeed to have such love!
And they said:
Out of experience , i can state that the whole world seems to halt without that one person, may be true love tends to have such an impact!!!!! (edited out) …i know what Tony means and the way he feels about Sage !
Which is when I decided to not say anything anymore.
Cos clearly this could go forever. I’m not negating the depth of anyone’s feelings, heck I’ve BEEN there, felt like that, esp in my teens and 20’s. Ok, even as recently as a couple of years ago.
And while it may seem that the world will come to a stop without this person, I can genuinely, with all the mended pieces of my broken and healed heart, say, not true.
Not true, not true, not true!
I am living proof! As are you, I’m sure. And all of us.
To say your survival depends on the presence of someone in your life, sounds less like love and more like need to me. We each CHOOSE what we believe.
Love by its very nature, nourishes, cherishes, gives life. You can ‘have’ love even without that special partner to spend the rest of your life with AND you can have it with them.
NB: (Unless you’re a baby – then you are 100% co-dependent and will not survive without a food provider – but you WILL survive without love. Maybe miserably and unhappily, but you will).
Till the day comes when you realise you ARE love.
Then, you’ll go beyond surviving, to thriving. Cliches notwithstanding.
Having experienced extremely co-dependent relationships where I really, truly felt like I couldn’t live without someone, I am now very conscious of the words I use.
Maybe that’s why I was goaded into writing this post (along with the fact it was Tony who passed it on.. being a master of words & NeuroLinguistic Programming, wonder if he thought about it at all?)
What do YOU think? Am I over analyzing or would you have felt the same way? Why would someone choose to believe they don’t have a choice? I’ve got an idea but would love to hear YOUR insights, thanks for sharing!
ps: parts of the other person’s comments have been edited out for privacy reasons..