How To Make a Change Once & For All

The Moment of Truth

Make it more important than anything else.

There, I gave it to you upfront.

The # 1 thing you need to do if you want life and circumstances to change in any way.

You can stop reading now.

Seriously, I mean it. If this makes perfect sense to you and you are READY, that’s all you need to do!

If you like to read about real life examples, read on.

Positive changes start with not just your thoughts, behaviours, actions, words, beliefs, choices, but..


Followed by a commitment to that decision.

  • You first decide what you want.
  • Then you commit to it.

Without these two steps, you can be guaranteed to find yourself on a hamster wheel, running around in circles, lots of movement but no real progress. Nothing wrong with that if you’re a hamster.

Change will happen whether you want it or not.

Progress will only happen when you commit to it.

Since I evaluated & re-prioritised my values (the one thing I implemented from Tony Robbin’s Awaken the Giant Within) to include health and fitness as # 1 a few weeks ago, my life is starting to resemble the woman expressed in those values.

I’m not saying things changed overnight, but pretty darn close!

With each week that passes I’m almost automatically making better choices that reflect what’s important to me and make me feel good.

(Like choosing salads over fries for the first time ever, ensuring I eat a healthy breakfast, finding out the best times to work out, starting my day earlier and earlier as time goes on. Occasional Nutella binges allowed).

For all my life till now, that was never important to me. It was a year long process till the day I FINALLY decided it was vital to the kind of life I want to live – energetic, alive, vibrant, joyous, engaged, happy.

When you live a life by your values, you consciously make small choices that propel you in that direction and pretty soon, those choices become second nature.

To date, this is the easiest way I’ve found to do what’s really important to me. One step at a time till it reaches critical mass and a firm unwavering conviction in my mind about the excellence I want to create.

Which then leads to instant decisions faster than the blink of an eye.

Good or good enough in some areas of my life is no longer enough.

  • With my body, I intend the healthiest, fittest, sexiest body I can have.
  • In my work, I intend to be the most fulfilled and successful I can be.
  • In life, I intend happiness, fun, love and vitality.

And so on.

There is GREAT power in committing to the life you want and if like me, you’ve been flirting with, but never committed to these desires, you’ve got a long wait indeed.

If you’re waffling back and forth, saying you want to lose weight, find a new job, rejuvenate your relationship, travel the world, become an entrepreneur, create passive income, go on a holiday – whatever it is that you’re wanting, there’s one BIG reason you’re not getting it.

It’s not a priority yet.

The GOOD news is that the day you decide this “thing” is a priority, something you want more than anything, you’ll find a way to make it happen, and way quicker and faster than you could ever have imagined.

Till then, you’ll just make excuses like I did. Which is just fine too, as long as you’re aware that you aren’t ready to make progress or change.

You have GOT to be in control of your experiences – whether you choose to live an “OK” life or a “GREAT” life, YOU get to decide. Whatever else you take from this post, please definitely take that on board, k?


Would love to hear from you – is there something you want more than anything but haven’t made a priority yet? What’s your process like to get the things you want? Thanks for sharing!

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  1. says

    I’m finally living what I have always wanted, and you are right, it starts with a DECISION. After that, your energy is directed and one small change leads to another. Yay for DECISIONS!
    SO proud of you for working out. I’ll be home in three weeks – maybe you’ll be able to bench press me by then 😉

  2. says

    Let’s not get ahead of ourselves missy! I’m not training for the world championships y’know 😉

    I’ve noticed that how one comes to that decision is very personal and individual. For some decision making and commitment are the same, for me they’re different.

    Starts with defining my values, how I want to show up in this world, what I want to experience and feel .. the rest is just a matter of putting it in motion.

    Heja Heja Heja!

  3. says

    Hey Tia! I have been reading and re-reading this article since last night. I figured out a while ago that ‘commitment’ was an issue for me, so I went ahead and got back into my Muay Thai training – and until this week was committed but still waffling here and there.

    OK so then I read this and you are so right – for me, it’s about a conscious DECISION especially when it comes to work and making it happen on a daily basis. My issue has been this – since I can’t see the end result immediately (10 new clients and my bills all paid) I waffle and waffle and waffle some more.

    I realized it is about taking small (maybe some big) steps daily towards my goals and somewhere I did make a decision that this is important but I didn’t realize it on a conscious level. And in reading this, it all came into the light for me! I feel more inspired than ever!
    There is so much in this article for me, still grasping it all and taking it in.

    Congrats on all the great decisions and now off I go to feel great about the decisions I have made for myself and get abundantly clear on how I want to feel. I like how you posted your examples, it really inspires me to be CLEAR!
    Big hugs,

  4. says

    Meredith I love you!! What an awesome realisation hey? I love how you pointed out that making a decision is something we do daily, once we’ve made a commitment to something. Man, that’s a great way of looking at it!

    Quick question: have you linked your decisions to your values or checked in to see if a current value is being fulfilled by them? I have a feeling you can mine for Gold there.. let me know what comes up for you.

    Thanks for chipping in!

  5. says

    Hmmm I had to think about that for a few minutes! I think, now I say I think, cause am not sure have total understanding of this yet, I think I have felt that my values were not worth valuing and for most of my life have tried to FIT in elsewhere, to someone else’s stuff and felt for the most part unworthy. And then am always in conflict, underpaid, undervalued period! There’s probably a ton more here than I have realized or understood, have been opening all day 🙂


  6. says


    Did you know you could CREATE your OWN values!? Well, yes you can!! Who says your values have to come from a values worksheet or a book?

    Think about what makes you truly happy and fulfilled – write down those things, now see what values you can create for yourself that speak to who YOU are, and reflect the kind of life you want.

    When you decide how you want to feel, the what to do to get there is easy. This can be scary or exciting but imagining knowing what you stand for and then living life from there? :O :D!

  7. Tiffany Hale says

    Tia, you’re a genius!!!!

    I finally linked the post about VALUES to this one about making DECISIONS. I always wondered why I’d *want* to do something, but change my mind at the very last second. And I’d sit there baffled and frustrated about why my life wasn’t changing. And why I wasn’t getting what I wanted.

    When I value comfort over adventure, of course I’ll sit around more than I’ll go out.

    When I value following the “rules” of society over doing what makes my heart sing, of course I’ll feel resentment and frustrated obligation.

    GAH! I think I’m going to reread this and do some amazing writing about my values in a few minutes.

    Thank you SO much, this is a true gift to all who read it.

  8. says

    Tia your response is genius and Tiffany so is yours! I am on it cause I have some life changes coming in and up… Thank you thank you thank you!

  9. says

    WTG Tiffany! That was definitely the missing link for me – not saying it’s the same for everyone but for many of us, values is what we need to be looking into.

    And here’s the cool thing – sometimes, I DO value comfort more than adventure and will sit on my couch and eat Nutella all afternoon.

    As long as I am aware that I’m making a choice to *temporarily* ignore my # 1 value of health & fitness to make comfort # 1, it’s all good. I can always go back to it after a wee detour. That’s the beauty of creating your own values 😀

    Come back and tell us what values you uncovered, k? Would love to hear! And Meredith, so glad that you’re having all these revelations as well, yay!

  10. Nicole Rigon says

    Life is what you make of it…. living, dreaming, having faith, love and hope. Being who you are and making the choices you you need to make to become the person you wish to become… One prayer that inspires me, for change , and that will always comfort me is…
    Give me the strength to change the things I cannot change
    the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the differencene ….
    Without the intention of causing pain or greif in someones life…

    THE BIBLE has always been my guide…. From beginning to end ….with the addition of our world now… and what we make of it… choices that work for us as an individual is what makes the world turn… making new memories to add to our past memories…

    LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH!!!!!

  11. Priyanka says

    Hey Tia,

    I was looking for some inspirational quotes and then somehow i ended up on your blog…. I have been cribbing and sulking about my dreams not becoming reality and that too without making committed decisions. I want to take up GMAT but i am always scared of math. I study for two days and then lose the enthusiasm and then my commitment goes into the drain. Same is happening with my work out schedule. I am a dreamer and I want to live my dreams. I want to travel , lose weight, make everlasting friendships, learn to cook best cuisines of the world, work in the best organisation etc etc…..But then I am not committed and then go with the flow. But after reading your blog I am feeling so optimistic ….Thanks …Let’s see how long can I be committed for 🙂 🙂 🙂

  12. Janet says

    Hi Tia
    I love the ending to your blog! Do I want to live an OK life or a GREAT life????? Mmmmm made me think -of course I want a GREAT life so why am I procrastinating????
    I loved too that you can allow yourself to make comfort you #1 (temporarily) over health and fitness. I could benefit from being kinder to myself in this way too – if I temporarily choose comfort over fitness it is not the end of the world and I am not a ‘failure’ …..just human!

  13. Joel says

    I want to make a change in how I react stumblingly, conciliatorily, deprecatingly and with self recrimination to unexpected verbal aggression, tempers, and the adverse circumstances that inconsiderate or aggressive people’s behaviors cause (for example, conflict concerning neighbor’s drug smoke which kept seeping into my apartment; a coworker’s abusive insults; mistreatment by people in authority; impositions from manipulative “friends”; betrayal from someone close; and more).
    Yes, I made changing my behavior my #1 priority, passion and in a sense, hobby for long periods of time, I committed to it, wasted months working on it as the sole pursuit of all my free time (aside from sleep, work, and parenting responsibilities). I worked at it by rehearsing situations and practicing assertiveness, taking assertiveness training, reading books and articles, going to therapy, doing self hypnosis and positive affirmations, achieving physical fitness, and it all came crashing down in 2012, 2015, 2016, 2017 when faced with a new surprise each time. Now I have no faith in myself. I think I have one more “bounce back” left in me but I have to know that I can protect myself in the future to achieve it. In my case, Deciding is not enough. It does not change the wiring of my brain that was reinforced over a lifetime of emotional conditioning.


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