How to Get Out Of Your Way & Make Smart Choices

Decisions Shape Destiny.

That Tony Robbins is alright. There’s a #Tedtalk by him at the end of this post and it’s inspired this little chat we’re going to have about decisions, choice and using our powers for evil or good. Let’s roll.

Who are you? I mean, what kind of person are you?

One who wakes up in the morning with a list of complaints? Or one who always has something positive to say? Are you a slave to your habits or are you consciously creating the life you want? Do you think you’re a negative or positive person? What do others say about you?

Take this as an opportunity to reflect on this moment. How are you feeling right now? Tired? Happy? Anxious? Energetic? Lazy? Angry? Excited? Fulfilled? Curious?

Think back to what you were doing or thinking just before this.

How did you start your day? What happened? Did you rush around getting ready for an appointment and drink a gallon of coffee? Did you start your day with a smile or a whine? Are you running through a laundry list of to-do’s and getting things done or getting ticked off?

Turn your attention to your body.

Do you feel any tension anywhere? Do a quick body scan. Are you feet relaxed or curled up? Your legs, stiff or flexible? Are your shoulders hunched up as you type or read? Take a deep breath in and let your body relax. Notice what relaxed, where you were holding tension.

Take another deep breath. Relax.

You do know that how you start your day has an effect on how the rest of it unfolds, right? AND just in case you forgot, let me tell you that you also have the choice to change it if your day’s not going like you want.

To get out of your own way, be mindful of the thoughts you allow to STAY in your mind & the DECISIONS you make on a daily basis.

In a 24 hour day, you’ve got about 16 hours of waking thought. That’s not something you can change (maybe by a few hours) but what you DO have power over is the quality of your day.

Each moment reflects a decision you made. These decisions are what affect your mind, heart and soul as they direct your energy in places you want to go (or not).

Think back to the last 5 decisions you made and answer these questions.

  • Did you make them happily?
  • Did you “should” yourself into them?
  • What decisions came easily to you?
  • Which ones did you complicate?
  • What’s an area of your life you’re feeling stuck in and can’t make a decision about?

As I see it, there are two kinds of mindset (even though we’re each a combination of them, you’ll know which one you have MORE if you’ve answered the questions so far).

You’re either a Pesky Problemist (yep I made it up) or a Sparkly Solutionist.

If you’re a whiner and pesky problemist, you’ll always look for the worst possible scenario and swim in the muck, lamenting your sorry state for hours and days and to anyone who has the misfortune of getting in an elevator with you. You’re not all bad though, you have a good heart but you just haven’t learned to tap into your own power yet!

If you’re a sparkly solution seeker, you’ll acknowledge the worst possible scenario, maybe even dwell in fear for a few moments, whine a wee bit (throw a pity party and then get over it) and then strap up your boots and start looking for ways to change either your situation or your state of being. You GET that you’re the boss of you.

Look, we ALL have challenges. But happy people have this going for them – they look at problems as opportunities for learning, growing, experiencing and consciously choosing how to RESPOND to them, rather than reacting.

It’s important to fully feel your feelings so I’m not advocating sticking a fake smile on your face – rather, feel feel feel it out but don’t let your feelings define you or have the power to make or break you.

Happiness really IS a decision. It’s a choice.

People who are miserable, CHOOSE to be unhappy. Happy people choose happiness and then practice it daily. So now, answer this question – what kind of world do you live in? What kind of world do you WANT to live in?

Remember, you get to choose your destiny, your direction.

Every Single Moment of Every Single Day. Take it away, Tony.

Facebook comments:



  1. says

    The thing I find really fascinating about a positive attitude is that feeling better is usually a solution all by itself. Thanks for the pep talk today Tia!

  2. says

    Hey Tia,

    I’m a believer in the “happiness is a choice” school of thought, but I must confess I wasn’t always that way. I probably had an easier time than others because I’m naturally a happy and upbeat person, but learning how to choose happiness took a lot of practice. It required an intensified level of awareness as to my thought life and it required that I recognized that I didn’t have to believe every thought I had.

    I also had to learn that I didn’t have to succumb to my feeling. That the way I thought was actually more important than how I felt, because my feelings could actually follow my thoughts instead of vice versa.

    Thanks for highlighting the importance of choosing happiness and thanks for share this Tony Robbins vid. He does such a great job of providing clarity.

    • says

      Hey Marlee, I’ll bet you WERE that way as a kid and then through the years the social world got a hold of your essential self and beat it out of you. I believe that we are all born with an inherent happiness gene and learn to subdue it to fit it. “Don’t be so excited” ‘calm down” “good girls don’t…”

      And then come adulthood, many of us had to relearn how to be happy! Something so simple can be such work, ironic 🙂 Till we get to the point where it’s like flicking a switch. You’re so right – it starts with awareness and the willingness to go the extra mile.

      Interesting point about thoughts leading feelings – at times I’ve consciously had to change my thoughts to get to a better feeling place and often I’ll take the ‘easy’ way – put on firework or some other awesome music and dance to it. Physical movement then changes my energetic state. Although – it did start with recognising how I was feeling, followed by a thought “change this”, and then inspired action!

      Thanks for such a well thought out and articulate response, what a pleasure to read it!

  3. says

    You covered this so WELL. Sparkly Solutionist … I LOVE it. The point that we need to feel what we feel before we move on up is SO important. I tried for awhile to pretend to be a Sparkly Solutionist but in reality I was a Pesky Problemist (love that too 🙂 ). And you can’t get to solutions unless you have that whiiiiiiine moment for real. I found that out the tough way. I think we get afraid we’ll get stuck in whine (or wine, depending on how we deal with whine ;), if we allow ourselves to feel the uckiness. But the truth is that when we feel it, we move through it much faster so we can get on about the fun of being a Sparkly Solutionist. 🙂

    • says

      Hi Andekins! You lucked out being human instead of an Ostrich 😉 I’m a big proponent of whining and hissy fits aka tantrums as you well know. It’s cos getting the feelings out of the way and then choosing something higher up the scale is easier than suppressing them and exploding like a bad milkshake 10 days down the assembly line (err. what?!).

      Yep, us LOA / deliberate creator type of people sometimes get stuck in the “but I have to be positive all the time” state when we first start out but what a relief to realise LOA is all about FEELING through the resistance, not resisting the resistance! I just basically repeated everything you said and I feel so smart.

      Huzzah!! Big hugs to you and Ducky!

  4. Anna Diehl says

    Early in my quest, I learned that the first 30 minutes of one’s day (from the moment they wake, or begin to if they’re a slow waker) is definitive in determining how one’s day will go.

    Yeah – like Tia said!

    I’m not always able to lounge in bed for a half hour. (my ideal – love my morning bed time!) Still, I always make a point of taking at least a few minutes to venture through my day, seeing it smooth, fun, easy and optimal. Huge difference, I have to say. HUGE!

    Happy Day!

    P.S. Obviously one of those Sparkly Solutionists (adore new words) I’m often asked, “Are you sure your real first name isn’t Polly?” It’s not… but I’m dang good at it!

    • says

      Yes, PollyAnna, Yes. ANDDD one can also change the way the day’s going at any moment! Note: no either-or, we go and-and. That’s an inspiring way to start the day – intentionally seeing it in your mind, the way you want it to go. I start mine with an Abe financial vortexy meditation and end it with the relationship one. Smiles all around love-aliscious

  5. SAQIB RAFIQ says

    Hi! I believe a positive change is possible but it is only one step away from us and that is to start looking at ourselves, to think about ourselves, to point out negativities in urselves and work on them one by one on day to day bases.

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