11 Questions you’re NOT asking that could change your life

Annie Leibovitz – Disney Dream Portrait Series

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

– Mark Twain.

When Jayson Krause’s best friend died of cancer in September 2005, he realised that he had never fully gotten to know him.

So he embarked on a year long project, asking 52 strangers the same 10 questions, one a week, in an attempt to challenge myths about connection and get people sharing more than just small talk.

Questions about life, accomplishments, fears, goals – all the things people never ask. This is one man’s mission to change the way we connect with each other.

I’ve responded to his questions below and feel it’s really important for everyone to do.

Will you join us?

Start by answering these 11 questions, then share this post with others so they can answer it too.

Don’t let ONE MORE DAY go by in mindless conversations, when you could be getting REAL about the stuff that really matters and getting to know yourself and the people in your life.

Before it’s too late.

1. What is your dream job?

Being paid to be me! A sparkly secret agent of transformation and JOY, inspiring people to love themselves, do what they love, and live life their way.

Creating, facilitating, and hanging out in a delicious online community, connecting with like minded people, learning, growing, dreaming big dreams, supporting each other and living extraordinary lives of passion, purpose and play.

Yep, pretty much what I am already doing.

As a child, I wanted to be a published author *just like Enid Blyton*, and a mum. I still hope to do both and love that I have a 3rd dream that I am already living.

2. What fulfils you?

Connection. Meaningful conversations, silliness, off-key singing, bear hugs, dance parties for one (or two) in the kitchen, belly aches from laughing too much, road trips, drumming circles, cradling a sleeping baby, love, intimacy, unbridled joy.

3. What’s your greatest fear?

That I’ll somehow sabotage myself from ever *living up to my potential* and reach the end of my days having wasted my life, wishing I had taken more risks, been less restricted and done a lot more stuff that had me saying OH WELL, instead of WHAT IF. Also, abandonment / losing the ones I love.

4. What do you want more of in life?

Experiences, aliveness, contentment.

More intimate moments with friends and family, creating memories, living in the now, spontaneous road trips, seeing new countries, experiencing more cultures, going to festivals, drumming parties, potlucks, anything that has to do with community, fun, sharing, and laughing.

Oh, and being a wife and mom :)

5. What is your greatest accomplishment?

Being alive. Reinventing myself over the last 10 years. Every year, I like myself more, become more ME and trust in the divine order of life, as well as my own power to create the life I want.

6. What are you most ashamed of?

Nothing – I spent too much of my life in shame. Now, I’m practicing being vulnerable and open as much as I can. I do stupid things, I make mistakes, I kick myself in the shins, then I grab myself up in a big hug, cry me a river, dry my tears, and carry on.

 7. What makes you sad?

Children being abused or abandoned, made to feel like they aren’t enough or that they don’t matter. Just writing this sentence brings tears to my eyes. It saddens, frustrates, breaks, and yet, gives me strength to do what I can for those I can.

8. What’s the hardest thing you’ve experienced?

Emotionally, heartbreaks and bouts of despair brought on by thinking I didn’t matter, my life didn’t matter, and nothing I ever did would matter. Climbing out of those thoughts and looking towards the sunshine is the hardest thing I’ve ever done – over and over again.

Physically, bootcamp! And climbing 17,353 ft at a mountaineering course.

Spiritually, seeing things go south after keeping the faith and still keeping on trusting in a bigger picture – over and over again. And I suspect, till the end of time.

As Martin Luther King, Jr, said:

9. What is great about you?

Where should I begin ;)!? I rock at seeing the best in life, making the most of every situation, and am a force to reckon with when in my element.

At my best, I am inspired, alive, energised, enthused, excited, inspiring, visionary, and can make myself AND you feel like we can do ANYTHING! I’m also great at making people feel adored, loved, and like they belong.

Persistence, adaptability, loyalty, fairness, sparkletude, and resilience are my biggest strengths. I don’t make decisions or commitments easily, but when I do, it is done.

And I am spontaneous, happy, and GOBS of fun! Road trip, anyone?

10. Who are you?

A bundle of contradictions.

An optimist, a pessimist, a dreamer, a realist, Pollyanna, a cynic, a believer, a pooh-pooher, supremely confident, self doubting, a healer, a lover, an encourager, a catalyst for self love and transformation.

Real. Flawed. Perfect. Imperfect.

Utterly human. Doing the best I can. Falling, flailing, jumping, thriving.

A girl who won’t stop loving and believin’ in her journey and knows that life always works out grand.

My real work here is to be true to myself, stay present, love wildly, live boldly, and be a good, kind person who shows people a mirror that reflects their AWESOMENESS & leaves them feeling amazing about themselves.

Reckon I can swing that..

What inspires you?

People who are ALIVE in every sense of the world!

Unconventional thinkers and doers, those who have woken up and are pushing past resistance to live extraordinary lives of adventure, meaning, purpose, passion, fun, joy!

Love, vulnerability, connection, inclusion. Oneness.

Music, dance, talent, persistence, dedication, selflessness, confidence.

Nature, sunrises, mountain tops, knowing that we are all stardust and we will all be stardust one day.

Thanks for asking these powerful questions, Jayson. 

Over to you ~ Please answer these questions for yourself and share what you discover.  Looking forward to hearing from you! ps: If you answer on your own blog, leave a link below!

________________________________________________________________________________________

** Want MORE BLISS and less stress in your life? Inner Sparkle: The 21 Day eCourse is made for you. Click here to get inspired. Happy. Sparkly. **

________________________________________________________________________________________

SPARKLE FLIGHT CLUB: WHERE DREAMS TAKE FLIGHT & FEARS GET GROUNDED. 30 day purpose + passion finding digital experience. Starts October 1st, 2012. CLICK FOR DEETS.

________________________________________________________________________________________

Enter your FIRST name + email for SPARKLING weekly inspiration, occasional shimmery updates & exclusive product offers, Sparklepants!
Bonus gift: Instant access to "120 most inspiring, motivational quotes of 2012" eBook.
We hate spam just as much as you

Facebook comments:

comments

Comments

  1. says

    1. I am not sure what the job is, but there is someone in front of me who just had a major breakthrough. I have to get down on my knees to laugh with them and tell them what an amazing journey their life is. It is fun. I think I am on my way.
    2. Satori moments and great ideas fulfill me. Writing something I am proud of.
    3. I fear complacency. I fear that I will wake up one day and realize I have done nothing to impact others.
    4. I want more colors, more sunsets, more sunrises, more walks through the grass, more morning birds, more laughter.
    5. My greatest accomplishment has yet to happen – maybe I am too hard on myself.
    6. I am most ashamed of judging people too harshly before I have had a chance to know them.
    7. What makes me sad? Leaving and seeing others leave.
    8. Rejection is hard so I try to be soft and to not reject others.
    9. What is great about me? I have a unique way of looking at the world. I can strip everything away and be a child, be objective and float above a situation. And I can twist it into words and sentences that really get to the heart.
    10. This is a great secret that I unravel everyday. In the end, I cannot prove with any conclusive evidence that I exist. I exist within my stories. The story of now, the story of my past and the script I create for tomorrow. I am a daydreamer, a night traveler, a shaman of words living lucidly and lightly on a hard path. If I were to ever completely answer this question I would cease to exist. I am because I am writing the story of my life everyday. A girl with a pen…Writing as loud as I can.
    11. Color, photography, interesting uninhibited people, new places, new faces, sunlight on the fence, shadows on old barns, my dogs ears, half folded blankets and dreams that stir me from sleep at midnight.

    Thanks so much for asking Tia.

    • says

      I reckon we’d do well with listing “greatest accomplishment so far” and even “greatest accomplishment TODAY” to get used to the idea of celebrating ourselves :) Your answers made my day, so wonderful to see the depth, honesty and introspection, fellow daydreamer and girl living out loud! Thanks for sharing <3

  2. says

    Tia – I’m pretty sure the two of us could get into a whole lot of trouble (and by trouble I mean all sorts of fun) and have a blast doing it :). I’m going to think through my answers more before sharing but many would resemble yours including being a contradiction..or as my husband says…I’m an interesting dichotomy of sorts, lol!

    • says

      Ha! Trouble is my middle name ;) Scanners are born contradictory! I fought it for a while, trying to be more “consistent”, now I own it as my creative genius. Can’t WAIT to read yours!! Have fun!

  3. says

    What’s the hardest thing you’ve experienced?
    The hardest thing I experienced was the death of my son.
    Ken was 30 when he chose to die. My heart was broken.
    I would never feel one more hug, hear his voice or see his quirky loving smile.
    I am grateful for the 30 years I had with Ken.
    I see the gifts I recieved from his life, and the gift in my life with his death.
    No matter how hard of an experience you have, see the gift. <3

    • says

      Debbie, you’ve gone thru the worst pain any mother, heck, any person could. And yet, here you are celebrating life and memories and shining your light for others. Mega love & hugs to you, woman!

    • Carrie says

      What a terrible tragedy. I just found this on my newsfeed and found myself reading much further than normally, and I see this. Everything happens for a reason, my reading this was no accident. I read all of the questions and silently answered them yo myself-and I knew how I would answer this question. The same as you. I lost my son when he was one- in a car accident. I only had a year with him- but his death did change my life and the lives of my two surviving children in many ways-and we managed to find positive things-even if it was just about showing me how strong I am (or so they say) and that strength gave me freedom to leave an abusive marriage and saved my kids from having THAT childhood. I’m sorry we share that commonality -but I know how strong you are… You wouldn’t be here if you werent – and that is inspiring. Xo

  4. Nadine Pace says

    Just one more question I would add ….. Where will I go when I die because that changes how I’ll choose to live

  5. Amanda says

    1. What is your dream job? 

    For the most part I have my dream job! I am a mom to 4 incredible, charismatic, and completely unique beautiful girls. I am life partner to an amazing man. 

    Beyond that with the proper funds I would love to open an art and creative school for children (and children at heart) in the outdoors. Teaching them art, self, and introducing simple ways to inspire and reinvent their creative abilities… Through endless mediums and nature… 

    2. What fulfils you?

    smiles, giggles, hugs and I love you’s…  Quiet dinners with everyone home to show that I made a meal not worth talking through. A moment so great I struggle to pick up the camera in case I spoil it. A nights end in the arms of my love and his restful breath in my hair as he drifts off to sleep. 

    3. What’s your greatest fear?

    Not doing or being enough to help my family. My children hurting, feeling misunderstood, and the possibility that my intentions and guidance is misread… Not coming across the way my heart intends… Ignorance, lies, arrogance and selfishness towards our family… I fear the protectiveness that I hold for us and the limitlessness that I will endure to protect us as a unit… And the bonds it may cut to change the situation. God help anyone that dare threaten what we have worked so hard to build.
     Allowing others to drain me, get the best of me, and take advantage of us. 
    Becoming predictable, hollow, empty of originality. 

    4. What do you want more of in life?

    Karma, peace, memories, love, passion, truth, creation and exploration, to be the best mom i can be, always stay true to my self, And to have a piece of my heart and soul that never truly grow up lol

    5. What is your greatest accomplishment?

    My children and the unity we have developed as a blended family. My ability to persevere and grow to the woman I have become.

    6. What are you most ashamed of?

    Nothing. Each step, each moment had moulded me to be who I am today and I would not change any of it with the knowledge and understanding it allows me to share through family and friends and life choices. 

     7. What makes you sad?

    Things being out of my hands to change, not having enough time, the right words or enough money to set things right at times. 
    Others who just don’t get it when I take a stand for us. 
    Selfishness. 
    Having to let go so that life can run its course for children who need to grow through choices, and friends who don’t want to help themselves. 

    8. What’s the hardest thing you’ve experienced?

    Loss of loved ones and pain of not sharing my true heart before hand. 

    9. What is great about you?

    Passion for life, friendship, open heart, understanding, and soft shoulder any time a true heart needs it. Creative, artistic, positive attitude, thrifty, resourceful 

    10. Who are you?

    not afraid to stand out of the crowd. Proud of where I have come from and who it has made me. Stubborn, heartfelt and honest to a fault. Not afraid to back down from what’s right and what’s been earned. I am beautiful, sexy, earthy, country, smart, artistic, and 100% orriginal! 

    “why try so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out!”

    11. What inspires you?

    Nature, my children, Ted, my grandma, true love, colors, scents, my garden, rowing in the canoe in our dugout, listening to my children’s dreams and wild planning, spontaneity, Campfires, Celtic music, water, dirt, driving, rain, music, photography, laughter, friends, silk, cotton, fresh air, old architecture, antique and niche shops, mud, animals… To be honest I could find inspiration in the bottom of a holy shoe lol! Life is inspiration! Every breath, every moment we are blessed with! 

    • says

      Dude. Mad love for the clarity & self knowledge you have. The stuff that inspires you. What fulfils you. # 6 in common. Knowing what you have, want and live for – building blocks of the life you create & the experiences you choose. Remind yourself of these, stay clued into your solar system & jive! Huge thanks for sharing so beautifully, honestly and thoughtfully~

  6. says

    Tia,
    Wow! This is very inspiring. What great questions. They really do make you think.
    My dream job is to help people learn to “speak intuition!” I’m so lucky that I get to do that everyday. It’s so much I have to pinch myself to realize I’m not dreaming!

    • says

      I loveee that you stand for your passion, Angela! Truly believe that we are all born intuitive and need to steer by starlight aka our gut a lot more than we do. How amazing to do “work” that inspires you, ay. Thanks for being here.

  7. says

    Hi Tia,

    Just found your blog and what an amazing post. I so enjoyed the questions and your answers. I’m inspired to go through and answer your questions for myself.

    Number 8 resonated with me as well. The hardest thing I experienced is when my daughter finally admitted she was addicted to crystal meth. I felt the rug had been pulled out from under me. I just read the previous comments from the two moms and my heart goes out to them. I am very grateful that my daughter did seek recovery and is doing well now, but it was a learning lesson for us all.

    • says

      Hi Cathy, welcome to YLYW. Wow, that’s some crazy sh** there, glad your daughter got out of it and got herself back. You’ll find this a very powerful exercise indeed, and quite revealing. Thanks for sharing xo, Tia

  8. says

    What is my dream Job?
    It used to be to host the Tonight Show. Now, I’d go for any of the late night comics. :) It might be hard to be the next host of “Conan” or “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”

    What fulfills me?
    Feeling connected to people. I’m not always extroverted, but I love community. I love feeling like people connect with what I’m saying.

    My greatest fear:
    Dying without making a dent in the universe. :)

    What do I want more in life?
    I want to make a difference in the lives of people. I want to see people get out of their stuck places and to get moving toward their dreams!

    Great questions indeed!

    • says

      Hard but not impossible! Heck, you could start your own TV network :D I’m finding that community, intimacy, belonginness(?) and connection are what all of us want, so why don’t we have more of it? Let’s change that! Great answers, thanks for sharing.

  9. says

    I really like the question, ‘what fulfills you?” that truly does open up the channels for finding out what brings more joy into a persons life and is a great foundational pace to begin on this exciting journey of life.

  10. says

    What superb questions. I think that Jayson Krause has certainly provided an invitation to connect in a way that is so much more than regular small talk. I wonder how many people can honestly say they would correctly know the answers their loved ones would give to these questions. Come to that, I wonder how many people have considered what their answers to some of these questions are…

    • says

      Yes.. it has me wishing I’D thought of it. Next best thing? Support it! So .. does this mean you’re taking on the challenge, Jen? :) Please do!

  11. says

    Really great post Tia. I love this idea and these questions. Thanks for letting us take a look inside your mind and at your thoughts. Really cool:)

  12. says

    Tia,
    “Trouble” is my middle name, too…and my daughter happens to share it..although I think we call it moxie and spunk:)
    Thank you for sharing this list of questions. I understand the “purpose” well. I have known one friend well for four years, and only in the past few weeks has she “discovered” I work in energy. How could you be in my life and *not* know that about me, it is what I live and breathe and am. But she didn’t. Sometimes I am so transparent with World, I need to be most aware of those around me.
    The answers to the questions come readily to me; as you reflect, it is the sharing, the inspiration, the knowing that is the gift in it all:)

    • says

      I like moxie! People don’t know because 1) we don’t talk about it 2) they don’t ask. Be the one to change it and prepare to be blown away by how amazing people in your life truly are. EXACTLY – the power of this exercise isn’t in just answering the questions, but SHARING them with those in your life. I hope you do, spunky Joy! xo, Tia

  13. Wernie Y. says

    I will try to answer these questions myself later. What question is very hard to answer here?

    Thanks for sharing realizations in life.

    -Wernie

    • says

      Sweet, if you blog about it please come back and share the link (or your answers). If not, that’s fine too, I hope you get value from it :) Tia

  14. says

    I love this!!! Your answers are so uplifting and encouraging; they make me feel like anything is possible!! Thank you so much for sharing and sparkling. :D

Trackbacks

  1. [...] going beyond innocuous small talk. Sometime in late February I read Tia Sparkle Singh‘s post 11 Questions you’re NOT asking that could change your life and realised that we do live our lives asking and saying the same things over and over and OVER [...]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>