Top 10 Ways You Lose Confidence + How To Get It Back.

Don't compare yourself like oranges and apples

If only I was more green..

What if I told you that I never feel truly confident?

Not 100%, not every day, and certainly not all the time!

Sure, I can project confidence easily, but deep inside, I usually worry that I don’t have what it takes. That I’m just not good enough. Good enough for what? Could be anything. That doesn’t even matter.

It’s a feeling that overshadows everything else. What if I told you that I..

.. really don’t know what I am doing most of the time?

.. crash and burn a lot?

.. fight to feel confident on a regular basis?

.. have to work at it almost every day?

Well, yeah!

Having had such an intimate relationship with fear, uncertainty, and the loss of power that it creates, I’ve perfected the art of losing and gaining confidence.

Now I can hardly keep this incredible technique from you, can I ;)?

So I’ve decided to stop hiding my gems of wisdom and share with you my TOP TEN WAYS TO LOSE CONFIDENCE!!

ps: It’s not easy, but if you just persist, you’ll get good at it eventually ;). To GAIN confidence, simply do the opposite!!

Good luck!

1) Practice negative thinking. 

Keep telling yourself how lazy / indisciplined / useless / unhappy / unfulfilled / bored / etc etc, you are and do NOTHING to change how you feel. Mope around like a sad sack and moan about how hard your life is, how you just can’t get a break, and how no one understands.

2) Live in the past.

Keep reminding yourself of how successful, healthy, strong, young, _____ ,  you were, and if only they’d seen you then.. Don’t just dust yourself up and walk on, stay where you are and dream of what you coulda-shoulda-woulda done. Let your circumstances boss you about, instead of being their boss!

3) Park your a** instead of moving it.

Get up late, eat badly, refuse to get off the couch and exercise. Fresh air and regular exercising have been known to lift spirits and bring more energy. More energy = more confidence. There’s no way you want to fall prey to that trick!

4) Refuse to acknowledge your talents + gifts.

Because of course, if you did, you’d have more confidence and…. actually DO stuff. Heaven forbid!! Doing stuff is an evil practice. You might do something, learn from it, do it again, get better.. and… GAIN confidence. Oh, the horror!

We don’t want that now, do we.

5) Make tons of excuses.

Get really good at moaning about what you want, and why you can’t get it. Use your age, your education level, your family life, your horrible boss, your annoying neighbour, your finances, the weather, your shoes, and anything else you can to make excuses. Someone once said there are a lot of reasons but no good excuses – sod them, what do they know!!

6) Compare with others. A lot.

Look around and see what others are doing. Wish it was you. Don’t actually get to it and create something yourself, just envy your colleagues / friends / family and ask why nothing ever works out for you!

(You’re really getting good at this, pardner! Keep going!)

7) Listen to others’ opinions over your own.

Allow the world / other people to question what you say and do, and tell you what to do instead. Change your ways to please them. Twist yourself into a pretzel to make them happy. And then wonder wtf happened.

8) Obsess about things you have no control over.

Because, of COURSE!! This will keep you in an endless loop of agony, especially if you link your happiness to that-which-you-cannot-control. Winninggg!

9) Carry the weight of the world.

Try to do it all on your own. Don’t ask for help. Take on too much. Then as you collapse under a heap of deadlines and to-do’s, reproach yourself for not being able to land on the moon, cos after all, you aimed your spaceship right there!

 10) Be a perfectionist.

Never ever let good enough be… good enough. Or start before you have all the boxes ticked, your T’s crossed and I’s dotted. To do so is pure folly! Taking a risk or starting before you’re ready is just crazy socks, amigo!

So there you have it.

My top tips on how to lose confidence (and lucky you, how to get it back)! 

Sooooooo, what are yours?

Do share, Sparkleface.

~ xoxo, Tia.

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z Tia Hi! I’m Tia. Multi-passionate Sparklepants, Life Lover, Curator of Awesome. I run this website featuring kickass inspiration to help you sparkle through life, no matter what! Click here to GET BACK YOUR CONFIDENCE and ignite your Inner Sparkle— that shimmery part of your spirit that says YES to courage + connection, and NO WAY to ‘shoulds’ + restrictions.

Facebook comments:



    • says

      Unfortunately, we’re rawther good at beating ourselves up.
      Fortunately, we also know how to lift ourselves up.
      And so… the cycle continues!

  1. Maya says

    Thank you for sharing Tia, we are all in the same boat after all and it happens with us all the time so yes I’m an expert in the 10 listed things and work happily to get out everyday. so thank you again for sharing; you just nailed it and named it much easier now to beat it.

  2. says

    For me living in the past is one of the greatest blunders we all commit . Past is just an illusion that would never come back . It is like a phantom time which doesn’t really exist . When we are stuck in the past ; we sacrifice our present for something over which we have no control .

    I am not good enough is another way of making sure that we stay stuck . When we doubt ourselves ; we take one step forward and two backwards .

  3. says

    Wonderful post, Tia. The key to a confident life lies in our own hands and we are solely responsible for this. I agree with all the 10 points you have mentioned here. You are doing a great job. Please keep it up

    • says

      You know, sometimes they just might find it easier to be miserable than take action. I know because I am an excuse maker at times too… it’s a mix of laziness, fear, doubt! Luckily, awareness leads to action more often these days :).

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