…. and freaking out?
This is a place well visited, well known by many of us.
Those times when everything’s changing around you for the umpteenth time.
When it feels like you’re speeding along and yet, strangely, stuck in parallel Universes.
When you take a giant leap forward into a new you, a new direction and open up once again, to the risk of rejection, failure and earth shattering doom.
When all you want is to RUN back into the arms of someone who’ll stroke your hair and tell you it will be ok, it IS ok, you don’t have to jump off the ledge if you don’t want.
When you look around wildly to see if anyone’s out there with you, or hope they’re waiting down there to catch you if you fall.
Then you suddenly panic and want nothing more than to scuttle off that damn ledge and crawl back into the cocoon you just shed.
Only problem is, the darn cocoon thingy’s now all flaky and disintegrating. So try as you might, it’s not gonna happen. You can’t crawl back.
Crap!
You take a deep breath and cross your heart, trusting that those who said they’d be around to support you are somewhere here, watching from their camouflaged positions in the bushes.
There’s ample proof that they ARE here for you.
When you simultaneously whine on facebook, seek validation and support from an awesome friend on skype and start writing down your thoughts with their encouragement.
What’s really happening in the moment then?
Could it be that as your voice changes and you morph into yet another avatar of your splendid self, the gremlinny voices inside pipe up with pieces of coal like –
– “if you tell people who you REALLY are, they won’t like you anymore”?
The palpable association with the wounded child inside us who believes that to be liked and loved, “you have to be who they want you to be”, is stretched thin and ready to snap.
Thoughts that say acknowledging yourself is scary enough, changing who you are is scarier still.
That being authentically you, warts and all = not being loved the way you want.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
If this is you, if you’re feeling this way, don’t take my word for it. Instead, have some faith and leap (or baby step your way) out to the wing, then the nose of the plane. Hang on for dear life.
Then, let go.
See what happens.
Flight. Growth. Heck, even in this place of “GAHH get me OUTTA here!””, progress happens.
Are you ready to hear this? If what you want is to say *screw it* I don’t want change, I just want someone to take care of me, to feel safe, loved and looked after, that’s okay too.
Hang out in the placenta a little bit longer and listen closely for the inner knowing that says, hey, this is part of the ride.
TRUST that this is where the good stuff begins. Take a few deep breaths into the panic, the gahness, perhaps go lie down or close your eyes as you see yourself poised to take off.
As you go through this process, you get readier.
Soon enough, you’ll be out there. And out of the turbulence, the cloudiness, coasting along smoothly. But you’ve first GOT to loosen your grip and leap! Do it or be thrown off.
Remember this the next time you’re “stuck in mid air” and hating it:
Mid air is the space between the ground and your dreams.
The part of the change process where you’re neither solidly on the ground, nor floating in air.
Mid Air is real. And very, very Valuable ~ Dianne Russell
Oh and by the way, just so you know, you’re not stuck.
You’re airborne. Launched. Evolving.
This is what being real looks like. What being YOU is all about. What dyu think them of them chickens?
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T, I LOVE that I got to participate in this post via our Skype conversation! My FB update 10 minutes before we started talking was “dianne is admiring the space between”. I was thinking about this non-place where I am in life right now, realizing that it is, indeed, a place (and a very important one) after all. Then you popped up with the same issue, we chatted, and now I am reading this fab post. Two people in two non-places can certainly lead somewhere great!!! We need to do this again, my friend. xo
It’s heartening to know so many people in “the space between” and I love how you phrased that btw. Thanks for reminding me how this place of “non place” is powerful, important and vital to the next phase of “er.. place”?!
Cocooning, hanging out in the placenta, nesting, curling up into a blankety ball is an important part of the process and we’ve got to honour and let it happen.
Different from procrastinating this is, and an uncomfortable yet prime place to be. Thanks for the great insights, looking forward to your blog post next week!
Ack! My first blog post! I’ll be de-flowered!
LoL and HIGH time, might I add!! You have WAY too much information, some crazy good LOA abilities and super successful manifestations that we NEED to hear about! 😀
in the words of Cath Duncan…. squeal!
This “space between” is the place I know best, am most comfortable in, and where I’ve lived the vast majority of my life. It’s not necessarily because I’m a go-getter, high-achiever or thrill-seeker – I don’t know that anyone would use those words to describe me. Rather, it’s because that “between” space is the one and only place I’ve always – absolutely & consistently no matter what – felt the most belonging, most at home.
It’s like the polarities of these “spaces” are switched with me – switched, that is, from the majority. I think it has to do with a sense of belonging. I’ve always felt alien to everyone, everything. Between – that path less traveled, other fork in the road, all that most people “don’t” whatever the subject – is where I am at home. Where I get my comfort.
I see the irony now – I feel most alive, most exhilarated in this life when I am in the midst of between-ness…
I wish that everyone finds the exuberance and welcoming comfort in this life of Between. Without, that is, having to feel the disconnected alienation to family –
Perspective is Everything and I LOVE MINE!
Happy you’re posting more often again –
Anna
Anna that intrigues me … do you mean the space between is a comfort zone for you cos it has some payoffs or that you take so many risks / chances that it’s now 2nd nature to you and you love it? How did you get there? What’s your process?
Woops I’m bombarding you with questions now but truly, you’ve got me wanting to hear more about this & I’m sure other readers would love to know as well 😀
And YES, I am back to posting more often – can’t promise to stick to LOA related topics cos I’m now sharing the changes and processes more than ever before (esp from this Airborne place!)
Looking forward to hearing from you soon (feels like I’m writing a letter to you, ha!) xo Tia
I just spent an hour pondering, writing with thought & contemplation, and as I was completing the thought about everything happening for a reason, an accidental keystroke sent everything away. Oh, the irony.
So now, I shall take these ponderances outside, and play in the dirt.
It was really good.
Love & Light,
Anna
Gahh!!! *(*%*&&*!!! I mean yes of course, everything does 🙂 *sainted smile* There’s peace in knowing this somehow “It was really good”. Many thanks my gracious dirt playing friend. A fine afternoon to you and you, and also you.
I’m getting a great visual and sensory experience from your description of this place between. I am there today, writing from that place. What it means to me is to be on the cusp bt.an old way of being that doesn’t feel good (often triggered by family and situations with history and default positions) and your expanded, true, limitless good vibe self.
So I am reinventing myself today – to be the person I am – the expanded version – in all situations – with consciousness and love.
See you on Jeanette’s call soon. I LOVE your energy and your bangs.
xxAnne
Hi Anne! Thank you for sharing where you are in this process. Being on the cusp, this juicy place full of richness waiting to be lived into is the perfect place to be.
This is the message I’m hearing all around today, esp in this Abe quote http://bit.ly/c2FkCi:
If you knew everything was REALLY all right, and that it always has a happy ending, then you would not feel trepidacious about your future. Everything is really so very all right! If you could believe and trust that, then, immediately everything would automatically and instantly BECOME all right ~ Abe
And like someone said yest “There is no unknown in the NOW”
Enjoy the moment, this space of floating in mid air without any fear! xo
A new day, a new play with Lucy (my laptop)
Now, about that query of yours, Tia …
As I lay in bed making my morning visit to Vortexville, the perfect analogy popped in to explain why being in Between is my favourite, most comfy space:
It’s kind of like a good book… As long as I’m in the midst of it, “between” the first and last words, anticipating the next page, next chapter, next time I can settle into a corner of the couch with my book and a cup of tea – I feel alive. Let me rephrase: I feel ALIVE!
Getting the book is like deciding to take a step; reading it is movement in Between; completing it brings any number of emotions/feelings; and no matter how great the book was, when it’s done, the greatest joy is in the remembering of it. So it only makes sense that if the reader wants to feel good, it’s time to get another book! (movie, design project, redecorate, remodel…)
For me, living in accepted sameness – that place restricted to either end of the book – is like eternal suffocation. I can’t stay there and survive, much less thrive.
In Between is where I feel closest to heaven – and therein lies my pay-off.
I could go on, but it would be on and on when really, it can all be said in three words: Between is life…
Ahhh Aliveness! Gotta say, I’m definitely feeling what you’re vibing there.
Was just on a call with Jeannette and she said something similar like “being in this space of launching desires and aligning with them before the happen, is the best part. Enjoy it, why would you try to get out of there!?!”
I’ve completely paraphrased it but hey this is what I got from it. And to hear you say that.. “Between is Life” … This is Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Thanks for coming back to share this Anna & Lucy!
Hey love,
I’ve been thinking about the space between and I realize that for me, the best way to describe it is that I’m like grapes fermenting in a winery. It’s an organic, active, important process that has to occur at its own pace. If interrupted, shortened or pressured in any way, the wine will be unduly affected.
Yes, we all love the wine (hic! drinking some of South Africa’s best as I write), and we love the grapes too, but without the fermentation, there is no aging. And aging, though highly frowned upon in the West, is the aquisition an manifestation of wisdom and grace. Enjoy this amazing, transformative time of fermentation T! Can’t wait to experience your vintage!
Di
Nice! Aliveness, Wine, I like where this conversation is goin! Cheers to being pressed, squeezed and fermented 🙂 The Vintage Queen
Holy cow, Tia – you perfectly describe where I’m at right now…. teetering on the brink!! I’m not used to this as a place of comfort yet, and I love the idea that maybe there is joy in the experience if I can let myself off the hook a little bit.
I feel a little bit like Ford Prefect in Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Universe – where he says an experience of transition is a bit like being drunk. And when Arthur Dent says “what’s wrong with being drunk?”, Ford replies “ask a gin and tonic”.
All a matter of perspective, right? Thanks for helping me shift mine just a little bit closer to seeing things through my vortex goggles!!
You quoted Douglas Adam!! That qualifies you as my top 5 fave people ever! Oh my 😀 Why am I not surprised JD? Mwah!
Yeah, I’d quite like some of what Anna’s having – to revel in this space, to love it, to feel the exuberance instead of the fear .. not *quite* there yet but getting closer. No doubt with this fine crew here, we’ll be right.
*skippin’ along hand in hand .. one… 2… three…. let go!*
Hi Tia,
That picture is absolutely hilarious! Thanks for the laugh it gave me!
I can definitely relate to the feeling of being “stuck in mid air.” It’s the place in-between the time you decide to go for it and the time that things really start happening.
I know I rely A LOT on faith when I am in this place. I try to remember times when I felt the same way and everything turned out fine. And I do my best to focus on what I want and not on what I don’t want.
I’m going through this in one part of my life right now, so I really appreciate the encouragement that this post gave me.
Have a great day!
Greg, thank you for taking the time to let me know that – I really value and appreciate it. Faith, yes, faith. When things get tough I turn it over to a higher power as well & look back at how the best things always came from seemingly scary or “bad” situations.
How right you are – this is the space of delicious things about to happen 😀 Also known as the DIP. Hang in there my friend, it is so very worth it.
ps: It’s been about a week since your post – how’s it going now? I am out of the mid air space and soaring!! 😀
Hey Tia!
It’s so nice to hear that about that place in between – I can totally relate since this place is where I am too at the moment. There are these moments of feeling like ‘curling up into a blankety ball’ and these moments of ‘oh me goodness, I am in f***ing mid air!!!’ just like the boy on the pic feeling like you’ve just been hit by a pangalactic gargleblaster ;). It’s exhilarating and fear-inducing at the same time but juicy nonetheless.
Thanks for sharing your perspective and experiences with this space in between!
XO,
Erik
I love that you swore and used a crazy ass word like gargleblaster! This is my fave comment ever 😀 hahahaha! Yeah, I’m in and out of gahness but mostly in a state of stupendous excitement brought on by my newest acquisition Mr Maccu!
Thanks for relating and being there too. I’ve read your comment 10 times and can’t get enough – blankety ball, lol. You rock Erik!
Hey Tia,
You have a lovely blog there and this was a great post like the rest I’ve managed finishing reading over the last 2 days (putting almost everything else on hold :P) This is something I needed to read at this point in life. I thought I am stuck too, but I forgot I’m rather Airborne! What a perspective 🙂
You doing a great job!
God bless you! 🙂
Love,
Anubha
Yes! What a difference it makes to everything in your life when you shift perspective ay 🙂 You read all my posts (or close) in the past 2 days!?? Wow, I feel so honoured and happy that this was just what you needed, Anubha. Would love to know more about what you’re doing. Rock on sista x