…. and freaking out?
This is a place well visited, well known by many of us.
Those times when everything’s changing around you for the umpteenth time.
When it feels like you’re speeding along and yet, strangely, stuck in parallel Universes.
When you take a giant leap forward into a new you, a new direction and open up once again, to the risk of rejection, failure and earth shattering doom.
When all you want is to RUN back into the arms of someone who’ll stroke your hair and tell you it will be ok, it IS ok, you don’t have to jump off the ledge if you don’t want.
When you look around wildly to see if anyone’s out there with you, or hope they’re waiting down there to catch you if you fall.
Then you suddenly panic and want nothing more than to scuttle off that damn ledge and crawl back into the cocoon you just shed.
Only problem is, the darn cocoon thingy’s now all flaky and disintegrating. So try as you might, it’s not gonna happen. You can’t crawl back.
You take a deep breath and cross your heart, trusting that those who said they’d be around to support you are somewhere here, watching from their camouflaged positions in the bushes.
There’s ample proof that they ARE here for you.
When you simultaneously whine on facebook, seek validation and support from an awesome friend on skype and start writing down your thoughts with their encouragement.
What’s really happening in the moment then?
Could it be that as your voice changes and you morph into yet another avatar of your splendid self, the gremlinny voices inside pipe up with pieces of coal like –
– “if you tell people who you REALLY are, they won’t like you anymore”?
The palpable association with the wounded child inside us who believes that to be liked and loved, “you have to be who they want you to be”, is stretched thin and ready to snap.
Thoughts that say acknowledging yourself is scary enough, changing who you are is scarier still.
That being authentically you, warts and all = not being loved the way you want.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
If this is you, if you’re feeling this way, don’t take my word for it. Instead, have some faith and leap (or baby step your way) out to the wing, then the nose of the plane. Hang on for dear life.
Then, let go.
See what happens.
Flight. Growth. Heck, even in this place of “GAHH get me OUTTA here!””, progress happens.
Are you ready to hear this? If what you want is to say *screw it* I don’t want change, I just want someone to take care of me, to feel safe, loved and looked after, that’s okay too.
Hang out in the placenta a little bit longer and listen closely for the inner knowing that says, hey, this is part of the ride.
TRUST that this is where the good stuff begins. Take a few deep breaths into the panic, the gahness, perhaps go lie down or close your eyes as you see yourself poised to take off.
As you go through this process, you get readier.
Soon enough, you’ll be out there. And out of the turbulence, the cloudiness, coasting along smoothly. But you’ve first GOT to loosen your grip and leap! Do it or be thrown off.
Remember this the next time you’re “stuck in mid air” and hating it:
Mid air is the space between the ground and your dreams.
The part of the change process where you’re neither solidly on the ground, nor floating in air.
Mid Air is real. And very, very Valuable ~ Dianne Russell
Oh and by the way, just so you know, you’re not stuck.
You’re airborne. Launched. Evolving.
This is what being real looks like. What being YOU is all about. What dyu think them of them chickens?