The Secret I’m Afraid to Tell You

ps: If you’re new here, don’t worry – this is an April Fools joke! Cos I’m cheeky like that ;)

There comes a time in a woman’s life when she has to make a decision.

Actually, there come many such times. We’re talking about one specific time though.

What should I do with my life?

And here’s my dilemma.

Since I was a little girl my dream has always been to be a wife and mother. Then in my twenties I was proposed to by the 1st of a few to follow. And I said no. He was too young, I was too young. Etc etc.

I realised there was more I wanted to do – travel the world, have adventures.

Marriage and mamahood wasn’t for me at 22.

So I travelled the world and had adventures.

I started my coaching business. I blogged. I dreamed of making ripples in the world and a huge impact on people’s lives. And I got caught up in the idea.

That I was here to make a difference, a big, positive difference in the world.

I resisted relationships for they tied me down. Commitments (to people, places or leases) scared me.

Over the past few months I have been cocooning and asking myself what’s really important to me.

What do I want most in life?

I always thought my # 1 value was love.

Turns out, it was freedom. The same freedom that kept me from committing to marriage or a long term relationship.

Last week, I decided to choose which value I wanted to honor most.

And freedom’s had an epic run being # 1 but it’s now time for love to take its place.

Freedom isn’t far behind, it’s very close but what I want more than anything is to be happily married and be a stay at home mom for a while.

So my dear reader, I’m coming out today.

I’m scared and also excited to tell you that I’ve decided to move to a ranch in Australia to be with a guy I’ve been seeing for a while.

I’m going to raise cattle and cook for his 3 gorgeous children and have more with him.

There. I said it. And I’m still standing :)

Phew!

How does this impact you, you ask?

You see, there was a decision to be made and I thought I had to hide it from the world.

For what kind of a modern business woman would I be to chuck it all up for love and a hot stove?

I was afraid that I would be judged, attacked for taking women’s lib 2 steps back (yeah, I got some of that for sure).

But why?

Why should I be scared to be who I really want to be?

If that’s what I want, then that’s exactly what I should do!

It’s my choice, not anyone else’s right?

I have to do what makes ME happy no matter how strange or unconventional OR old fashionedly conventional!

If I’m not walking my talk, how can I tell YOU to Live Your Life YOUR Way?

When I do something I love, I do it with all my heart.

There simply isn’t any time or mind space to focus on running this business AND being the wife and mother I want to be.

I’ve seen fellow solopreneurs trying to run a business and manage a family of toddlers and wee ones and they’ve been getting burned out, stressed and sick to the point of having to take time off.

I don’t want that to happen to me, so I’m making a choice to take time out now, rather than be forced to for health reasons.

It’s been a great run but all good things must come to an end.

I’m not sure how much longer I’ll run this blog, a couple of months perhaps but truth be told my heart has already fled the tracks and I’m following suit.

I may bring it back next year, or in a few months or not at all. I have NO idea what the future holds, apart from the promise of great love and bliss.

Thank you for your delightful presence here and I hope you understand! This decision has not been made lightly, at first I agonised but then it all became so clear that I could see my reflection in it.

I ask you for your support and good wishes as I embark on my next adventure, on this oh-so-scary-and-crazy ride called life!

Tell me – Do I have it? I really need it!

Much love, gratitude and appreciation, Tia xoxo

ps: check the 1st comment for a very special goodbye gift from me!

Enter your FIRST name + email for SPARKLING weekly inspiration, occasional shimmery updates & exclusive product offers, Sparklepants!
Bonus gift: Instant access to "120 most inspiring, motivational quotes of 2012" eBook.
We hate spam just as much as you

Facebook comments:

comments

Comments

  1. says

    Here’s how gullible I am: I KNEW that you did this on your FB status and it was an April Fools joke, then I came to read this today and even got TEARY eyed for you. I mean this in the most loving way- but you’re an A-HOLE!!!! ;)
    xoxoxo

    • says

      Oh my .. ain’t no love like foul mouthed love… you and Amy crack me the shiznits up. I love you both too, my sweet sweet chicas :) So adorbs! xo

  2. says

    I knew it wasn’t true when I got to the bit about the ranch in Australia. We don’t have ranches in Australia… [they're called cattle properties] and I reckoned the gorgeous aussie you were marrying would surely have set the record straight on that one by now! LOL Nice try Tia but you didn’t fool me… [well not for long anyway - grin]

    So glad you’re not giving up blogging though… although you could have still had it all here in Australia. We’re getting a national broadband service soon that would have kept you in touch with the rest of the world from wherever in the far flung outback you might have chosen to settle down with hubby and the three kids (((chuckles)))

    Oh well… maybe now you’ll just have to visit. And who knows when you do… you just might meet that really cool aussie guy you were just speaking of. Life is kind of funny like that. Sometimes we know things ahead of time… and that’s why we say them. Spooky :-)

    • says

      True that Jean, I should have remembered from MacLeods Daughters … ranches are in the US of A! You’re about the 3rd or 4th person to say “watch out, that may happen” – now won’t THAT be a story to tell if it does!?

      I suspect the real story might be far less exciting than that though. WAIDDAMINUTE!! What am I saying – nothing about my life is normal or staid, no matter what, you can be sure I’ll have a tantalising tale to tell. Can’t wait to see what happens next ;)!

      I may go back to NZ for a visit Jan-Mar, if so, I’ll be sure to hop across the pond and say Gday Mate! Where exactly do you live? Been to Melbourne, Manly, Sydney, GC and Brissie so far (no cattle properties yet!)

  3. says

    Ok, Tia, I totally fell for it (particularly since it’s now April 3rd and I didn’t realize you posted this on the 1st!) Ha ha! It felt real ’cause it felt like you were following your heart and I know you to be someone who isn’t afraid to take risks! Much love, Barbara

    • says

      Oops! Still reeling them in, haha ;) Good to know your faith in me stands strong my friend! Here’s to epic risk taking of all sorts – my mantra for Q2. Yeah baby.

  4. Ronnilynn says

    I just got here and find that you are off for another life adventure. sparkle away and share with those girls. We’ll be here if/ when you find your way back. God bless and keep you safe while you travel the path to your life ahead. I feel blessed having the chance to read whats happened before this moment on your blog. And I shout at the top of my lungs (I will when I get to the beach) I AM A SPARKLER

  5. says

    Hey Tia :) April Fool’s Day joke or not, I’m gonna comment on this anyway. Because you know what? this is a decision many of us find ourselves faced with at one point or another. I was a single parent when my oldest was younger, and as I scrambled to juggle babysitters with work hours and a college education all I wanted was to be a stay-home mom.

    After marriage I stayed home for 18 months with my second child and found out I HATED being a stay-home parent. After those baby years got done sucking all of my time, playing mommy to two kids didn’t fill the need I had to be challenged. So I went back to school, went back to work, and found out working a 9 to 5 and raising 2 kids didn’t work for me either. So I started freelancing, “wasting” my extensive education by becoming a writer (I started out in medicine). Now my 3 kids are older, my husband works long hours and I’ve been a (mostly) stay-home mom for the last 6 months while we got this new schedule of busy dad and 3 busy kids worked out, and I’m looking to go back to the 9 to 5 so I can work around my kids’ schedules.

    I’m almost 30, and more than once I’ve looked at myself and said, “Dude, what are you thinking?” But you know what? That’s okay. What worked two years ago doesn’t work now. What I wanted then doesn’t jive with my drive today. And it doesn’t matter how old I am, or how many kids I have, I can go after that.

    So truthfully? I find the punking here a little tasteless, because there are those of us who have been there, and for whom this is a very serious dilemma. But I know you didn’t mean it to be so Im simply going to say if you want to go raise sheep, go for it. Whatever form the metaphorical “raising sheep” might take along the way.

Trackbacks

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>